Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Tommy refusing to sleep tonight.

Tommy fought doing his homework but after a couple of hours and much prodding he got it done. During dinner he lost his temper slightly when we denied him a 2nd helping. He was getting himself worked up then suddenly snapped into “good child” mode which probably means he realized that he could sneak back into the kitchen and gorge himself later. I guess its time to pull out the portable motion alarm again (whew! Does that ever tick him off!). He is reading now. Let’s see how things go.

Tommy is sneaking food again. He’s funny when he is doing something he knows is wrong he stares right at you, drops him mouth open slightly and doesn’t blink. He had a half a bag of Doritoes hidden behind his chair and I dumped them in the garbage (probably the wrong response since I just punished myself and the rest of the family for his action but it showed a strong consequence). He also had eatten a package of 2 Poptarts in addition to whatever snack he had permission for since he has been home–that would be 1.5 hours.

Tommy walked in the door a mass of tension and anxiety. Dad tried to explain the day while Tommy interrupted in an effort to change the subject. Apparently Tommy played around with the intercom buttons while he was wandering the halls (why?) and had to be visited by the school VP. Tommy then put his head down and fell asleep at his desk. Tommy goes to sleep whenever he needs to escape. This behavior worries me and I try to keep close tabs on his escape efforts so that they don’t escalate. Tommy is angry with himself. There is no need for us to ask anything of him like a chore from the jar because Tommy punishes himself worse than we ever would.

Tommy is sitting at the table doing some worksheets he missed during his nap. He hates writing assignments.

Dad Reports:
I still feel like we are getting the wool pulled over our eyes by the school. We had good communication at the beginning of last year (this happened, we handled it this way, do you have any suggestions?). Communications fell apart when the original teacher fell ill and was replaced. We homeschooled this fall. This year (now that he’s back) is “oh he did great! He’s such a pleasure.” That would be what the teacher says almost everyday. My interpretation: We know better than you (”because we are trained and you have obviously screwed this kid up”–it is always the parents fault) so we won’t tell you what goes on. They might be trained but no one knows my child better than I do!

Todays comments (in order):
Vice Priciple: “We had a little incident. If the call button to the office gets pulled 3 times it means ‘emergency’. Turns out it was Tommy. He was also doing something with the bookshelf. I just had to go down there and not say anything. He went back in the classroom. [The teacher] just loves him. He’s a great kid. She says ‘as long as I take my vitamins in the morning.’”
Tommy: “I had a great day! Only lost 7 points.” (nothing more)
Teacher: “We had a pretty good day.”
Dad: “I heard there was an incident with a switch.”
Teacher: “OOh. Yes. We had a rough morning.”

I hope Tommy gives them hell and they continue to pretend all is well. Serves them right!

I went upstairs about 7:50 and Tommy was still in bed. I ignored him and went to the kitchen to have some more coffee and do some writing. When I took the rechargeable batteries back to the hall closet near his bedroom he gasped and started to bolt up but as I paid him no mind and turned back to the kitchen I heard him utter “oh.” Still challenging and still seeking negative attention. Since he didn’t get it, he came out calmly, found himself a pair of socks and got dressed. I got irritated with him and lectured him when he siad “dad.. dad… Dad.. DAd.. DAAD..” and didn’t take the cue that we were not in proximity to each other for conversation and that I was in the middle of something. He got the “you are no the center of the universe” lecture and then I felt bad for mishandling it (although I didn’t mishandle it that badly). At 8:07 he started asking “when are we going to leave.” We left shortly after that and had a good car ride with Tommy nailing me with 1 slug bug. We had one uncomfortable conversation in the car when Tommy asked me “What would happen if a horse got on a trampoline?” and I replied “What are you? Retarded?” (poor response) I followed up with “I guess they’d throw away the trampoline and shoot the horse.” In hindsight I could have handled that more smartly and discussed the weight limits of a trampoline and the weight of a horse. The horse discussion came up because we drive past 3 pastured horses every morning and every morning Tommy is astounded that they are there “Look! Horses!” and this morning he said “I want a horse.”

Dad reports this morning:
I forgot to give Tommy his medicine until 7 at which time I both gave him the medicine and told him it was time for breakfast. After carpool I return to discover he is back in bed with the light out. He says “I ate breakfast.” and when asked why wasn’t he dressed he replied “I’m tired.”

I just heard him doing forced giggling (an unnatural and loud laugh that he does to let you know where he is and that he wants attention). I need some coffee anyway. Let’s go spend some time with Tommy and see if we can steer him into a good day today.

Dad reports last night:
Tommy was tired. He always is when he has put so much energy into fighting. I still don’t understand his motivation. It is all negative and it wears him out so why do it? I guess that’s like asking substance abuser that is physically and noticeably wasting away “why don’t you quit?”