Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Doug and Tommy have spent the day engaged in power struggles. Very depressing to watch. Two people I love who are both miserably unhappy and neither one will let go of it and move on.

Exercise worked. Tommy is putting the eye roading being him.

We even made up enough to take the dog to Petsmart for a nail trimming and ear cleaning. Bought food and cat liter while there. Tommy was on great behavior and pleasant company. He even endured sitting in the car with the dog while I ran in to make two other purchases to help the family get through the week.

Dad Reports:

Tommy is intentionally rolling his eyeballs when I try to speak to him. He knows it angers me so its become a weapon for him. I’m trying to come up with a plan to defuse that weapon. Tommy says “It’s a tick.” It is not.

strategy: I think I will force Tommy on the hour to make eye contact with me while I discuss something with him. If he rolls his eyes, I will start over. I will limit the exercise to 5 minutes and repeat it until he decides to show some respect.

Dad reports:
Tommy won. I finally got angry with hiim. Now I’m not speaking to him.

Tommy turns the water on and as I promised, I closed the bathroom door. Of course, he’ll over flow the tub so I’ll be back there shortly to turn it off.

Tommy now resorts to his fake coughing. I still haven’t gone back there.

Dad reports this morning:
I came upstairs after hearing Tommy roaming about. When he heard me coming he jumped into the bathroom. I gave him a few minutes then opened the door to give him his medicine. Then I told him “take a bath” to which he responded “I’m hungry. I want breakfast.” I said “good, take a fast bath.” and he started to raise his voice and I put a quick stop to it and reminded him of the sleeping people in the house. He lowered his voice and continued his whine so I said “come with me” and took him to the kitchen to begin handing him a slice of bread. He gripes “I wanTED cereal” and I said “get your bath.” He stomped off to the bathroom and is refusing to get in the tub.

He has spent 15-20 minutes in there fidgiting with things trying to get a rise out of me. He leaned on the sink and played with the aerator and water droplets until I told him to move away from the sink. He is now sitting on the toilet making noises trying to draw me back there. I’ve opened the door and told him it will close when I hear water running.

Tommy is upped the level of the noise. I’m going to give him a choice to bath or get garbage cans up the drive. I may go in there an take a bath myself.

Dad reports last night:
Cathy and I wanted to get over to her parents, quickly pick up the kids, and return home. Tommy would have no doing. He was wired from helping to clean out the grandparents garage and completely overstimmed from the treasures he’d found. We sent him to the car and I found him in the front seat, something he knows will get him spoken to. I open the door and he cowers. It’s an idiotic response that infuriates me because I didn’t do anything and it also is a tool he uses to keep from making eye contact. As I get him out of the car, his pocket jingles with a large amount of change so we return to the house to spend the next hour having Tommy and his brother lie to us about the origins of the change.

The lying is unexpectable and at epidemic levels. He finally came clean in the car.