Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

We went to a drive-in (not drive-thru) restaurant for dinner and then to a big bookstore. Tommy was better behaved than Noah and Amy. Tommy even tried to help Amy calm down “look at the book Amy”. I said no to the thirty dollar D&D book but agreed to yet another Brian Jacques book if he would also read “Life of Pi”. He crinkled his nose as he usually does when I suggest a book but maybe he’ll read it. If not it’ll just get passed down for the other children to read. Now Tommy is locked in the bathroom reading. I know he likes the cool bathroom air and the small room but we really have too many people in this house for him to take over the bathroom for hours.

Mom reports: Tommy, Amy and I sat on the couch this morning and waited for his bus. He seemed half asleep but happy and calm. This afternoon he was excited about the Double-stuff Oreo cookies in the kitchen. He grabbed a handfull and went outside with his shoulderbag full of D&D books and dice. Dad is on a school trip with Sarah for the weekend so it’s just me for a while. Maybe we should do something fun tonight. can’t do a movie because Amy won’t sit still and my mother can’t babysit since she’s still radioactive. I’ll have to think. Maybe a big bookstore.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy refused to try to do anything on the homework he didn’t do yesterday. I told Tommy (last night) that he could have one D&D book to take to school if he got up and got dressed. This morning I gave him his medicine at 6:20 and at 6:20 he began dressing himself pausing only when I didn’t have socks for him. The socks MUST be put on before the pants.

Dad reports last night:
Tommy was fairly cooperative and in decent spirits.

Dad reports:
Tommy had a good ride at STAR today. He had one disturbing moment where he tried to engage the groomer helping him. He put on two rubber “combs” that strap you your hands. He clapped his hands together then pretended he couldn’t pull his hands apart. Then he took edged toward the groomer and started to clap his hands together. It almost looked liked he was going to slap both sides of her face. He teased with this motion several times before finally slapping his hands together just an inch in front of her nose. The episode started with a manic grin on his face and as he became more focused and determined he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as if this required intense concentration. Before it escalated too far I intervened and ask if he wanted to go home and he pulled it together.

Dad reports:
Tommy real rude and sorta “in your face” this afternoon.

Mom reports: Doug hasn’t yet accepted that he can’t parent Tommy the way he can parent the other children. The tone of voice and raise of an eyebrow just will never work. Violating his personal space boundaries won’t make him behave so that the violation won’t occur again. Action and consequence just don’t work. Impulse drives him to act and only when he decides on his own will he choose to avoid or at least decrease those impulses. I understand and accept that Tommy’s personal space must be respected. My failure as his parent is in tolerating his bluntness that feels so rude and attacking to me. If I don’t put food away immediately Tommy will calmly state “Are we letting this food rot?” I feel attacked for not cleaning quickly and snap at him about manners which is stupid because Tommy is just asking a simple and honest question. Why is it so hard to think and act calmly when it’s so easy to see in retrospect how things could have been handled?

Tommy is still having a great time with the yellow twine that Doug bought for him. When Doug tossed it in the grocery cart and said “Tommy will have fun with this” I didn’t really think about it but it has turned out to be a brilliant purchase.

Dad reports this morning:
I woke Tommy late giving him his medicine at 6:37 and urging him to get out of bed right then. Instead, while I dressed myself, Tommy slept. At 6:53 he was urged to get out of bed again. At 7:02 I told him “Have a nice day” And he sprang from bed asking about taking a single D&D book to which I replied “Sorry Tommy. Had you gotten up and been dressed before now we could have talked about it.” When I returned from carpool, Tommy was gone.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy was given his medicine at 6:15. At 6:35 I stirred him and he sat up saying “alright I’ll get up” but I’ve seen nothing else from him. He is either sitting on his bed staring into space or he laid back down.

Dad reports yesterday:
Tommy had an incident at school and was written up; however, the other child was given an in-school suspension. The other child was harassing Tommy by blocking the door and either refusing to let Tommy in or out of the classroom. Tommy didn’t know what to do so he pinched the boy and the boy pinched back. Tommy of course claims that he did not pinch the boy and that the boy pinched him 3 times (remember, Tommy’s reality and our reality are often incongruent. Tommy’s teacher role played with him on better ways to handle the situation.

Tommy came home and immediately wanted to go outside and play. This is unlike Tommy. He seems to be having a really good time with some twine we bought him. I had to intervene once when he tied the twine to a mailbox and was innocently using it as finish line for the 4 and 5 year olds to race to. In his Mom’s words, “Tommy’s never seen Easy Rider.”

Tommy helped me cut the lower lot. He was diligent and did a nice job. Once inside he said “Don’t you think that was worth $7.” I said “no. I think its worth about the same as what you got for the front yard. This was flat and easy and you were done in 15 minutes.” I don’t know what his mother paid him. He’s going to nickle and dime us to death!

He did not sleep in the tub and got to bed relatively early without much fighting.

Mom reports: I finished reading “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time”. Let me start by saying that I really like this book. I felt very comfortable with the main character. It is clever and sweet but not sentimental or condescending. I can see how it could easily be the topic of some excellent “book club” or college level literature discussions. However, apparently I’m really stupid because I couldn’t read it without taking breaks or my brain hurt. I was afraid to skim the character’s digressions into mathematical problems or camera-like descriptions of his surroundings so I tried to understand everything. I knew almost immediately what the solution to the mystery was but I didn’t realize until halfway through the book that the book’s topic was not at all what I originally thought it was. I think that it is appropriate for older teen and up but adults will like it regardless of their connection to (or lack of a connection to) the Autistic Spectrum.

Dad reports:
Someone found Tommy’s blog with a google search of “no such thing as asperger syndrome”

If anyone doubts, they are welcome to come live at my house for a few days.