Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Tommy, his brother and perhaps even his sister are getting along nicely in the tent made over Tommy’s bed. They are settling in for sleep. Perhaps they’ll watch a dvd and go to bed.

Mom reports: Tommy has had trouble relaxing today. He seems to feel pressured. The irony of course is that teh rest of us are completely relaxed and ignoring work or household chores for the day. Tommy would be happier if we had the same schedule every day of the year. He has built a small tent in his bedroom and is hiding in it now.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy is weird this morning. He is bouncing between aggitated and angry. Seems nervous.

He admitted “I’m nervous. I always mess up on holidays.”

Dad reports last night:
Tommy had a blast at the dinner and movie. His friend (also Aspie), his friend’s sister, his friend’s dad and a friend of dad joined us at Gatti’s pizza buffet. Tommy was out talked by the other child. Tommy was so nervous that he actually did not talk at dinner. His friend’s dad even tried prompting him into conversation. Tommy had nervous eatting devouring 3 plates of food at an incredible rate. He actually ate neatly without getting food on his face or clothing!

Towards the end of dinner Tommy began to open up. As we left the pizza place to go to the mall Tommy invited his friend to ride with us. The two chatted non-stop on the way to the mall mostly about role playing games.

At the mall we visited Electronics Boutiquette (electronic games) and The Game Board (box games and role playing). The boys enjoyed each other’s company and kept each other’s ears full.

We headed to the movie “Scooby Doo Two” (which was really pretty good) and Tommy went for the very front seat in the middle; his friend shot to the very last seat in the middle and donned sound reducing headphones (probably knocks the sound down 20-35 decibels). I suggested to Tommy that he join his friend. His friend’s dad tried to encourage a middle point but we all ended up on the back row (no bad seats in the house so it was fine). Tommy’s friend grabbed the middle seat, then Tommy sat, then the friend’s sister, dad, dad’s friend, and finally me. I was strung out at first not being able to reach Tommy. I would have no control over his loud talking or manic laughter. I also had forgotten to slip him his medicine before we all sat so it was either pass it over everyone or call Tommy over to me (which is what I did). At that moment he was so jittery and unfocused that he barely seemed to know that he was standing in front of me. His eyes kept wanting to drift to the rather exciting preview on the screen.

Remarkably, Tommy did not talk inappropriately during the movie. When he spoke it wasn’t loud. His laughter was in sync with the rest of the audience and only once did I feel I needed to ask him to reel it in. I gave a medium sized popcorn to the kids to split and I got a full medium sized popcorn back. Apparently they were so enraptured with the movie that food didn’t matter.

We had a great evening. Tommy had a fantastic day! I hope for more!

Mom reports: Describe Tommy? Well, I have to disagree with Dad about Tommy’s intuition on people. Tommy is clueless about people. Tommy has learned that it is easiest to get a negative reaction and that it is hard for people to acknowledge the good (why is that?). Tommy is very smart and loves to read. He gets lost in sci-fi books that I find completely boring. I can see how he would love soaking up the great detailed decriptions of things. I think someone should write a book about the real world with the attention to detail that sci-fi writers give their works.

Tommy has a strange sense of familiarity with animals. In the presence of animals he is calmed and at peace. Around animals he no longer seems to be uncomfortable in his own skin. Our cranky, feral cat snuggles up to Tommy with a gentleness that defies her personality. Tommy likes “stuff” and he picks things up everywhere he goes and has an uncontrollable urge to peruse through trash for treasures. He keeps his pockets stuffed with things he might need. He usually carries a backpack or bag full of stuff with him. He seems to be very prepared but the things he carries are random and confusing to everyone except Tommy.

Tommy likes to hug. He weighs more than anyone in this house and his hugs vary between boa constrictor tight and jello loose but he is enthusiastic in his efforts. Tommy speaks with an innocent truthfulness when unprompted but if questioned he becomes defensive and tries to answer the way he thinks you want him to answer. In other words, he lies blatantly to try and please you. We simply can’t make him understand that what we really want is the truth. Tommy likes people. All people. He sees no difference in people and will chat happily with anyone, anywhere. Tommy is a sweet, funny little boy in a teenager’s body.