Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
On my drive to pick Tommy up I saw all the short buses pass me. Fear ripped through my heart as I imagined Tommy riding a bus that I could not get him off of until 4pm…4pm being when he had to be 45 minutes from the house.

Tommy had not boarded a bus. But came to the office complaining of headache and wanting to throw up. I suggested we go to the doctor’s office instead of Star and he perked up.

We got to Star and Tommy had an interesting opportunity. The class before Tommy’s comes from Tennessee School for the Deaf and one of the Deaf children (coincidentally also named “Tommy”) tried to engage Tommy. Tommy wouldn’t look up from his book but waved at the other child. Turns out the deaf Tommy is trying to practice greeting people and shaking their hands. I learned this when I spoke with the counsellor to ask her to explain that Tommy doesn’t understand how to be friends with people that he should try again; she was quite tickled and appreciative of the interaction. I looked forward to the two getting more opportunites together during the change of class.

Tommy did good on his ride threatening to throw up only once. The instructor nipped it in the bud explaining the social inappropriateness of talking about the urge to vomit and suggested that he simply say he is not feeling well and end class early. He quit talking about it.

On the way home I was pulling in for gas. Tommy says, “I need air.” So I stop the car in the road and tell Tommy, “Get out.” He gets out and leaves the car do open so I can’t drive out of traffic. I holler at him to close the door. Then I pull around the grassy median to park opposite of where I dropped Tommy off. When I see Tommy, rather than getting into the grassy part of the median he has sat on the curb, laid back in the grass and extended his legs and feet out into the road. I stop the car and yell at him to get out of the road. As he’s standing there I am talking to him and he just bends over and empties his stomach of the 20 ounce (.6 liter) bottle of Gatorade he drank earlier. This is a skill Tommy can do on demand so you never know if he’s up to something or really sick. I instruct him to go to a safer spot in the median with a nice manhole cover to sit on then I move the car to get gas. I look back and Tommy is spread eagle lying on his back in the grass! I holler at him “get up or I’ll call an ambulance!” The guys on the adjacent pump are confused but watching the whole scene.

Tommy and I make it home without any further incident and he is told to take a bath..brief whining then he goes.

Dad reports:
Tommy had his field trip to the high school today. He could give very little detail. He reports the following:

Good bus ride to school “I read.”

He went to his classroom then they loaded the big school bus (Tommy normally rides a short bus “neep neep” for those familar with derogatory reference). Tommy’s teacher rode with him and the other student rode the other bus (have no idea who was with him). Tommy made one reference to the rowdiness of the bus but said he read the whole time and ignored everyone else.

They arrived at school in the area that the “car riders” normally enter [I wonder if Tommy realized that some high schoolers drive themselves. I didn't ask.]. They had an assembly. Later Tommy tells me the first assembly was “about 2 hours” and the 2nd assembly was “about an hour.” I believe the field trip was less than 3 hours. It’s always interesting when Tommy gives you such a clear insight into his mind.

The only thing Tommy could remember from the assembly was “they have honors classes and lot’s of clubs” and “I am only interested in the fishing club. It’s year round.” I explained to Tommy that he is smart enough for the honors classes but he doesn’t work hard enough to be in them. I said that is a shame. When I tried to get more out of him about the assemblies he said, “I ignored them and read to ‘keep from getting stimmed’” It was an absurb statement because the words sounded very unnatural coming from his lips; it was easy to tell he was simply regurgitating words of his parents, the psychologist, or his teachers. What he was really saying was ‘he was bored’ or possible ’scared to death’ but we’ll never know because he doesn’t talk about things like that.

After assembly they walked around the school with “mentors” that talked the whole time but Tommy doesn’t remember anything that was said. Tommy was impressed with the 2 story building and the 2 floors of bleachers in the gym. After the tour they returned for the 2nd assembly then went to the cafeterria for lunch. Tommy could not quit going on about how good the food was. Tommy’s whole existence centers around food.

When prompted with “What impressed you the most?” Tommy replied, “The food”
When prompted with “What scared you the most?” Tommy replied, “The size. I am afraid I will get lost next year.”
When prompted with “What did you like the most?” Tommy said, “As much as it scared me, I liked the size.” [that sounded phoney]
When prompted with “What did you like the least?” oops. I forget the answer…

I never got around to “what’s your favorite color?” and “what’s your favorite dirty word?” (that’s a joke… reference to “In the Actor’s Studio” )

Mom reports: Yesterday I was reminded that there are others with problems much worse than ours. It started with someone posting a rumor in our yahoo group. Today it was phone calls stating that the school involved is the elementary school where our two middle children attend. A school that we like very much. The rumor is: “I heard a story tonight about a second grade student who is on the spectrum. The child is terrified of roaches, and a teacher put a plastic cockroach on top of computer to keep the kid from using it. Not suprisingly the kid freaked, and to handle the kid in meltdown they surrounded him with a circle of plastic cockroaches. Did they think that would help? Other abuse is occuring like holding the water fountain button so it comes out slow, and then full in the face as he leans over to get a drink. I don’t know if the parents even are aware of this.”

I threw clothes on and rushed to the school to quiz Noah and his friends. “Have you ever seen toy bugs in your class? Has anyone ever played a joke and put them on top of the computers?” That was too easy a solution so of course the boys claimed ignorance. Now I have to start calling parents to learn if any of them have seen toy bugs in a classroom. I recognize the potential trouble I am stirring here but how can I do nothing? I did find Noah’s description of his very Autistic classmate interesting. “Mom, I don’t want to be mean, but she’s really scribble-scrabble.”

Dad reports:
Tommy’s bus did not show up until 7:20 which gave me plenty of time to get home and check on Tommy. He was dressed and on the couch reading. Unfortunately I did not give him a once over so if you asked me to describe him all I could tell you was a “young male” and “I think he was wearing jeans.”

Good luck today Tommy!

Dad reports:
Tommy just lying on his stomach on his bed and bouncing his feet. I reminded him “I don’t have time to drive you to school today so if you miss your bus, you miss the opportunity to visit the high school” Maybe that is what he wants.

Dad reports:
Today Tommy takes a field trip to the high school. He will ride a fullsized bus with regular ed kids. He will eat in the high school cafeterria and tour the school for 3 hours. Shoot! The anticipation of the freshman hazing had my stomach in knots at his age; I can only imagine what he might be feeling.

I can’t help but expect that Tommy will end up spending most of his time on the bus reading. They’ve already said, “No verbal warnings. First mistake and you are out.” Seems like a setup for failure [remember, the school wants him in the 8th grade again].

Dad reports this morning:
I heard him cough in his sleep. Could he have been playing possum? Could he really be sick? Could he have done the fake cough enough that his body and mind is convince it needs to do it?

Gave him medicine at 6:15.

Dad reports last night:
I took his brother to soccer so I cannot speak for last night. Beforehand I know he’s begun forcing himself to cough (to the point that he might throw up). He says he is doing it on purpose and that he is not sick. Afterwards, Tommy was in the bath tub playing with the baby bath toys and refusing to actually scrub or make any effort to get out. He finally got out after I gave him a 2.5 minute warning stating “after that time I’m removing the door.”

Dad reports:
The returned to his regular class then Tommy went to gym and “slept” until kids “threw 3 basketballs at me.”
After gym, he went to science class where the whole class was told to go hang on on the track and “just don’t leave the fenced in area.”
He returned to class to complain of a headache then threw up. I picked him up a half hour later.

If his descriptions are true, his week at school has been a total waste of time.