Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Tommy had a good ride at STAR today. He had one disturbing moment where he tried to engage the groomer helping him. He put on two rubber “combs” that strap you your hands. He clapped his hands together then pretended he couldn’t pull his hands apart. Then he took edged toward the groomer and started to clap his hands together. It almost looked liked he was going to slap both sides of her face. He teased with this motion several times before finally slapping his hands together just an inch in front of her nose. The episode started with a manic grin on his face and as he became more focused and determined he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as if this required intense concentration. Before it escalated too far I intervened and ask if he wanted to go home and he pulled it together.

Dad reports:
Tommy real rude and sorta “in your face” this afternoon.

Mom reports: Doug hasn’t yet accepted that he can’t parent Tommy the way he can parent the other children. The tone of voice and raise of an eyebrow just will never work. Violating his personal space boundaries won’t make him behave so that the violation won’t occur again. Action and consequence just don’t work. Impulse drives him to act and only when he decides on his own will he choose to avoid or at least decrease those impulses. I understand and accept that Tommy’s personal space must be respected. My failure as his parent is in tolerating his bluntness that feels so rude and attacking to me. If I don’t put food away immediately Tommy will calmly state “Are we letting this food rot?” I feel attacked for not cleaning quickly and snap at him about manners which is stupid because Tommy is just asking a simple and honest question. Why is it so hard to think and act calmly when it’s so easy to see in retrospect how things could have been handled?

Tommy is still having a great time with the yellow twine that Doug bought for him. When Doug tossed it in the grocery cart and said “Tommy will have fun with this” I didn’t really think about it but it has turned out to be a brilliant purchase.

Dad reports this morning:
I woke Tommy late giving him his medicine at 6:37 and urging him to get out of bed right then. Instead, while I dressed myself, Tommy slept. At 6:53 he was urged to get out of bed again. At 7:02 I told him “Have a nice day” And he sprang from bed asking about taking a single D&D book to which I replied “Sorry Tommy. Had you gotten up and been dressed before now we could have talked about it.” When I returned from carpool, Tommy was gone.