Mom reports: Doug hasn’t yet accepted that he can’t parent Tommy the way he can parent the other children. The tone of voice and raise of an eyebrow just will never work. Violating his personal space boundaries won’t make him behave so that the violation won’t occur again. Action and consequence just don’t work. Impulse drives him to act and only when he decides on his own will he choose to avoid or at least decrease those impulses. I understand and accept that Tommy’s personal space must be respected. My failure as his parent is in tolerating his bluntness that feels so rude and attacking to me. If I don’t put food away immediately Tommy will calmly state “Are we letting this food rot?” I feel attacked for not cleaning quickly and snap at him about manners which is stupid because Tommy is just asking a simple and honest question. Why is it so hard to think and act calmly when it’s so easy to see in retrospect how things could have been handled?
Tommy is still having a great time with the yellow twine that Doug bought for him. When Doug tossed it in the grocery cart and said “Tommy will have fun with this” I didn’t really think about it but it has turned out to be a brilliant purchase.