Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy was given medicine at 6:20 and urged to get up at 6:30 (which he did!) and by 6:50 he was sitting on the couch bored so he started saying “I love you Sarah. I love you Noah. I love you Dad.” over and over in different orders. He was egged on by his brother as they raced to repeat the patterns until I asked them to stop. Now he reads.

Mom reports: Tommy had his first day in an easier math class today. The teacher in the first class spoke through gritted teeth about what a “distraction” and “bother” Tommy is so I said that he didn’t need to go back to her class anymore. The vice-principal and special ed teacher picked up on my rising anger with the math teacher’s comments and quickly suggested an easier class might be a good idea. Tommy is not pleased about being in the “dummie math class”. I think that with less than three weeks of school a class that won’t cause stress is a good idea. We’ll work on math over the summer and see if he can gain some confidence in his math skills. If that nasty teacher had taken the time to try to help Tommy things would have worked out very differently. Now Tommy keeps going to sleep in the tub which he knows frightens me. He finds in comfortable, nest-like and relaxing. I find it nerve-wracking and exhausting. I’ll be happy when the shower gets fixed.

Dad reports:
I saw Tommy’s bus pulling out of the neighborhood at 7:25. Tommy’s stuff is gone and he’s missing so I assume he was on the bus. I wonder how long she had to wait for him to get dressed. I wonder if he had breakfast.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy got his medicine at 6:15. He was already awake but just lying in bed. At 6:30 he was urged to get dressed but just sat up in bed and has been that way since despite a couple of other suggestions that he needs to get dressed. Hopefully he makes it today.

Dad reports:
Tommy mowed the lawn and then asked “Can I have my $5?” so we inspected it together and as I pointed out areas that needed improvement instead of saying “ok, I’ll fix that” Tommy’s response was “Ok. How about $3.50?” then “$3.25?” and so on until he got to “$2.75″ and I was saying the job was probably worth half at “$2.50.” We had a discussion that the money was not the issue but the job that was expected was not done.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy got up and since Mom and I were sleeping in he brought his medicine down to us (good boy!) and has been enjoying a morning of relaxing in front of the television.

He is still coughing but I think the Claritin is starting to kick in for him.

Mom reports: Two and a half hour meeting at Tommy’s school to write a really nice IEP followed by a 5 minute discussion of what to do with him next year. We insisted that he would be going to high school and asked why they don’t send all the Aspie kids to the same school (there are at least 4 of them) so there can be one in-service to prepare the staff instead of dozens of meetings trying to explain Asperger’s. We were basically TOLD that they are just going to leave him in a CDC classroom all day. I am way beyond angry right now. Now we get together with other parents and discuss lawyers. The only good thing about the meeting was that they will consider letting Tommy use the Dana Smart that we’ve asked for the past 4 years.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy awoke at 5am in a coughing spell. Put on his glasses to use the bathroom and returned to sleep in his glasses. He claims he never regained sleep (I believe that) but ignored me making myself repeat “Sit up and take your medicine Tommy” 4 times before I pulled the covers off. Still wouldn’t move without a slap of the leg.

Suspecting the cough is real but that it is probably Allergies, I started Tommy on Claritin today.

Dad reports:
On my drive to pick Tommy up I saw all the short buses pass me. Fear ripped through my heart as I imagined Tommy riding a bus that I could not get him off of until 4pm…4pm being when he had to be 45 minutes from the house.

Tommy had not boarded a bus. But came to the office complaining of headache and wanting to throw up. I suggested we go to the doctor’s office instead of Star and he perked up.

We got to Star and Tommy had an interesting opportunity. The class before Tommy’s comes from Tennessee School for the Deaf and one of the Deaf children (coincidentally also named “Tommy”) tried to engage Tommy. Tommy wouldn’t look up from his book but waved at the other child. Turns out the deaf Tommy is trying to practice greeting people and shaking their hands. I learned this when I spoke with the counsellor to ask her to explain that Tommy doesn’t understand how to be friends with people that he should try again; she was quite tickled and appreciative of the interaction. I looked forward to the two getting more opportunites together during the change of class.

Tommy did good on his ride threatening to throw up only once. The instructor nipped it in the bud explaining the social inappropriateness of talking about the urge to vomit and suggested that he simply say he is not feeling well and end class early. He quit talking about it.

On the way home I was pulling in for gas. Tommy says, “I need air.” So I stop the car in the road and tell Tommy, “Get out.” He gets out and leaves the car do open so I can’t drive out of traffic. I holler at him to close the door. Then I pull around the grassy median to park opposite of where I dropped Tommy off. When I see Tommy, rather than getting into the grassy part of the median he has sat on the curb, laid back in the grass and extended his legs and feet out into the road. I stop the car and yell at him to get out of the road. As he’s standing there I am talking to him and he just bends over and empties his stomach of the 20 ounce (.6 liter) bottle of Gatorade he drank earlier. This is a skill Tommy can do on demand so you never know if he’s up to something or really sick. I instruct him to go to a safer spot in the median with a nice manhole cover to sit on then I move the car to get gas. I look back and Tommy is spread eagle lying on his back in the grass! I holler at him “get up or I’ll call an ambulance!” The guys on the adjacent pump are confused but watching the whole scene.

Tommy and I make it home without any further incident and he is told to take a bath..brief whining then he goes.

Dad reports:
Tommy had his field trip to the high school today. He could give very little detail. He reports the following:

Good bus ride to school “I read.”

He went to his classroom then they loaded the big school bus (Tommy normally rides a short bus “neep neep” for those familar with derogatory reference). Tommy’s teacher rode with him and the other student rode the other bus (have no idea who was with him). Tommy made one reference to the rowdiness of the bus but said he read the whole time and ignored everyone else.

They arrived at school in the area that the “car riders” normally enter [I wonder if Tommy realized that some high schoolers drive themselves. I didn't ask.]. They had an assembly. Later Tommy tells me the first assembly was “about 2 hours” and the 2nd assembly was “about an hour.” I believe the field trip was less than 3 hours. It’s always interesting when Tommy gives you such a clear insight into his mind.

The only thing Tommy could remember from the assembly was “they have honors classes and lot’s of clubs” and “I am only interested in the fishing club. It’s year round.” I explained to Tommy that he is smart enough for the honors classes but he doesn’t work hard enough to be in them. I said that is a shame. When I tried to get more out of him about the assemblies he said, “I ignored them and read to ‘keep from getting stimmed’” It was an absurb statement because the words sounded very unnatural coming from his lips; it was easy to tell he was simply regurgitating words of his parents, the psychologist, or his teachers. What he was really saying was ‘he was bored’ or possible ’scared to death’ but we’ll never know because he doesn’t talk about things like that.

After assembly they walked around the school with “mentors” that talked the whole time but Tommy doesn’t remember anything that was said. Tommy was impressed with the 2 story building and the 2 floors of bleachers in the gym. After the tour they returned for the 2nd assembly then went to the cafeterria for lunch. Tommy could not quit going on about how good the food was. Tommy’s whole existence centers around food.

When prompted with “What impressed you the most?” Tommy replied, “The food”
When prompted with “What scared you the most?” Tommy replied, “The size. I am afraid I will get lost next year.”
When prompted with “What did you like the most?” Tommy said, “As much as it scared me, I liked the size.” [that sounded phoney]
When prompted with “What did you like the least?” oops. I forget the answer…

I never got around to “what’s your favorite color?” and “what’s your favorite dirty word?” (that’s a joke… reference to “In the Actor’s Studio” )