Dad reports this morning:
Independence Day! Tommy is groggy and slow to rise for preparation for church. I go so far as to ask him if he really wants to go and of course he replies “yes.” We drop Tommy off at church watching him from the car walk to his classroom. To me he seems completely unaware of other people’s personal space and, not necessarily rudely, bounces his way to his class; he is not shoving or knocking people down but his gait has a defined self-importance to it as if to say “I am aware that you are in my way and that I should not move you but I will make you aware that it is more important for me to get up this ramp than it is for you.” Once in the door, Mom and I run off to do errands.
We arrive at the restaurant to find Tommy rapidly shoveling food into his mouth. Imagine having a bread roll the size of a small fist. Now take a bite but before you chew, swallow or even put the roll down, take another bite. Once again, using the same rules take another bite and another. Keep taking bites until the roll is no longer in your hand. Now you may chew and work toward swallowing but not without trying to speak to someone first. That is a fair description of how Tommy eats until he receives his reminder to “eat politely” at which point our chipmunk son nods and finger spells “o.k.”
The meal was pleasant and Tommy did pretty well. During the meal we learned that he had been asked to “not return to the sunday school class without adult supervision.” Recall that this was his 2nd week. I should add that I met his sunday school class during the fireworks. They were very nice but they were not autistic or behaviorally challenged. They were retarded (and that’s not a derogatory statement).
After the meal, I received an all too expected phone call. A confirmation that we will play a D&D game tomorrow but that the group has concerns about Tommy’s overt silliness and that if it continues they may not enough the game enough to want to continue. Unfortunately, I think this could be who Tommy is and there may be nothing we can do. It is sad too because if Tommy burns this friend he will lose more than he has ever had. Tommy actually got to go to this friend’s house and play; at 13 years old, that’s the first and only time he has ever done that! Can you imagine having never visited a friend’s house?
The poor guy gets kicked out of group settings in school (recall the 7th grade when it ended up being Tommy, a teacher and an aid), 8th grade removal from math class and other group settings (although they continued to try), removal from his psycho-therapy social training group (although he is likely to return one day), removal from church sunday school, and possibly removal from his D&D play group. He approaches a point that the only way to get him into group settings is to move to a different city and start over.
Tommy spent the afternoon at the grandparent’s neighborhood pool. The teenage girls would get one of his floating toys and he would slowly work his way over there and hit at it with his boogie board until they just pushed it away then he would take it. I know there is a side of him that wants to flirt with the girls and he did but whenever they “had his stuff” he would turn mean and act more like a 4 year old.
The evening was calm and uneventful. Tommy went to sleep and put his lights out on his own but it was still quite late.