Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:

Dad reports this morning:
Around dinner I remembered to ask Tommy how he would like to be woken in the morning. He said, “I dunno.” So I replied that I have to keep using the methods I’ve been using. I suggested misting water on him and he opposed. He said, “What about my alarm clock?” Mom and I both chimed in that in the past it hasn’t worked and just wakes everyone else. But I agreed to try this once. I told him to set the alarm for 6;30; he set it for 5:30. I asked why and he said, “so I can get up and have a really big breakfast!” We corrected it to 6:30.

Apparently he forgot to actually turn it on. I woke him for his medicine 30 minutes later than I normally do and told him to get out of bed. I immediately removed his covers. 15 minutes later I squirted him with water and he got angry but did not get up. 12 minutes after that I squirted him again and explained his bus would be here in 2 minutes. He got angry and grumbled “I’m hungry!” The snapped at me “I’ve asked for lunch money for 3 days and still haven’t gotten it.” (n.b. he has been given cash rather than a check)

Seems like a rough start.

Dad reports:
Dad: “Tommy, go get your day planner out of your room.”
Tommy: “It’s not in there! Besides I never use it. It’s lost.”
Mom: “Take some of your money to school tomorrow and buy a new one.”
Tommy: “Oh! Here it is!”

Dad reports last night:
Last night was bad. When asked to bathe Tommy went into screaming hysterics and I asked him to leave the house. Instead he curled into a ball and screamed louder so I covered his mouth to dampen the screaming (the screaming makes Noah cry, makes the dog whimper, makes Sarah go silent, makes Amy sad, makes Mom upset, and makes my stomach ache), grabbed his pants waist and dragged him to the front door then shoved him out the door. He fell to the sidewalk and I suddenly felt horrible. He screamed louder. I finally went outside and tried to pick him up and he ran from me. Eventually I got him to a chair on the deck and checked knees and elbows while he continued to scream at me. I came inside and he continued screaming and shouting “I’ll quit yelling when you quit ignoring me! Stop igoring me!” Meanwhile I am trying to cook dinner. I tried talking to him and he went off again so I left and he shouted “Stop ignoring me!” I finally told him to get in the Jeep. He probably thought he was heading to Pennisula. We drove to CVS I bought him some Claritin and by the time we got home he was calm enough to join the family and take his bath.

Dad reports this morning:
So I wake Tommy for his medicine and he always does that without complaint then goes right back to sleep. I leave his light on and later I pull his covers. I give him 20-40 minutes depending and then I usually go in and give him light slaps on his calf and shake his leg until he yells at me. Today I tried a different approach. I had the dog leash in hand so I lightly dropped the end of it on him. Not whipping. Just dropping a piece of cloth to him and he yells “Why do you always have to hurt me! Violence is unnecessary! You don’t have to do that!” So I ask, “What can I do instead? I can’t think of anything else to get you up so yes I do have to do this.” and he replies, “No you don’t have to do that” but refuses to offer an alternative. What am I supposed to do here? Let him sleep until noon then swagger into school? I suppose we could try an alarm clock but if I recall correctly the last time we did that he just let it buzz and buzz and buzz which guarantees the toddler gets up earlier than she should.

I keep expecting DCS to show up because one of the neighbors begins to wonder if I really am abusing Tommy or because he tells the school that I “hit him” to wake him up.

Dad reports:
Whoops. I wrecked the morning. I sent Tommy out to walk the dog and he went out barefooted (42 degrees F right now) so chose to stand on the porch. This leaves the dog our sidewalk and walking path as her choices to do her business. She has a favored spot and that is where the kids are supposed to take her.

I stepped out and reminded Tommy of this and he groused that he didn’t have any shoes on. I explained that was his choice and pointed out the pair of shoes on the deck. He complained they had “dog poop” on them and I suggested he clean them up that “they aren’t going to clean themselves.” I firmly told him to go walk the dog and he stood there without flinching. I went inside and he still stood there not even turning his head looking like a statue so I opened the door and pushed him off the porch. He proceeded to wake up the neighbors explaining to them how I hurt him and “didn’t have to do that!”

Dad reports this morning:
Last night we allowed Tommy to stay up watching television (mostly James Bond but some Fairly Odd Parents (btw, The Channel Chasers is a must own! Timmy jumps into Charlie Brown and several other shows. Well done!) Around 11 or midnight he fell asleep on the floor in front of the television and I could not get him to move to his room.

This morning he was stirring so I said, “Tommy come take your medicine.” Ignore. “Tommy come take your medicine.” Ignore. “Don’t make me come over there and hit you.” (Yes, I used the word hit because he considers my taps to wake him hitting and sometimes to stir him they almost are) Mumble. “Wha huh. Sure.”

No complaints of sore back this morning. Perhaps he needs to sleep on the wood floor instead of his bed every night.

Dad reports:
The Vols were losing and Tommy was becoming surly. The stress of the game left no room for Tommy’s insolence and the exchange with the grandparents was arranged. Swap one surly Tommy for three jolly youngsters. The grandmother left the house with the wrong keys so in the driveway Tommy became further enraged and slammed his fist on his grandfather’s company car.

Tommy is so angry lately. Even talking calmly to him will set him off. If he suspects you are going to confront him before you even get your first word out he will whine “Why do you do this to me? You are going to make me yell! It’s your fault!”

Mom and I were considering an evening like last week where the three of us enjoyed a dinner together but before we were to the restaurant and before we were half way home Tommy was already talking rude to us, yelling, arguing and accusing us of ridiculousness. Mom finally through up her hands in frustration and said Tommy was just to stay in his room tonight as she didn’t want to be accosted by him. We later allowed him to come out to watch James Bond’s Thunderball. Tommy adores James Bond movies. They relax him, focus him and calm him. Now as I say that he sits on the floor rocking back and forth rapidly in one of the most autistic behaviors he has ever exhibited. A reminder and he stops. He moves to a chair and finds stillness.

His lastest “twitch”/self-stim is a loud cough. When confronted he says, “I’m not sick. I’m clearing my throat. I’m doing it on purpose.” Then he is lectured on the inappropriateness of the cough and he says he “can’t help it.”

I want Tommy to want to try. He has the control and ability to do better than he is but he seems to choose not to try.

Dad reports:

Dad reports:

Dad reports: