Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Dad: “Tommy, go get your day planner out of your room.”
Tommy: “It’s not in there! Besides I never use it. It’s lost.”
Mom: “Take some of your money to school tomorrow and buy a new one.”
Tommy: “Oh! Here it is!”

Dad reports last night:
Last night was bad. When asked to bathe Tommy went into screaming hysterics and I asked him to leave the house. Instead he curled into a ball and screamed louder so I covered his mouth to dampen the screaming (the screaming makes Noah cry, makes the dog whimper, makes Sarah go silent, makes Amy sad, makes Mom upset, and makes my stomach ache), grabbed his pants waist and dragged him to the front door then shoved him out the door. He fell to the sidewalk and I suddenly felt horrible. He screamed louder. I finally went outside and tried to pick him up and he ran from me. Eventually I got him to a chair on the deck and checked knees and elbows while he continued to scream at me. I came inside and he continued screaming and shouting “I’ll quit yelling when you quit ignoring me! Stop igoring me!” Meanwhile I am trying to cook dinner. I tried talking to him and he went off again so I left and he shouted “Stop ignoring me!” I finally told him to get in the Jeep. He probably thought he was heading to Pennisula. We drove to CVS I bought him some Claritin and by the time we got home he was calm enough to join the family and take his bath.

Dad reports this morning:
So I wake Tommy for his medicine and he always does that without complaint then goes right back to sleep. I leave his light on and later I pull his covers. I give him 20-40 minutes depending and then I usually go in and give him light slaps on his calf and shake his leg until he yells at me. Today I tried a different approach. I had the dog leash in hand so I lightly dropped the end of it on him. Not whipping. Just dropping a piece of cloth to him and he yells “Why do you always have to hurt me! Violence is unnecessary! You don’t have to do that!” So I ask, “What can I do instead? I can’t think of anything else to get you up so yes I do have to do this.” and he replies, “No you don’t have to do that” but refuses to offer an alternative. What am I supposed to do here? Let him sleep until noon then swagger into school? I suppose we could try an alarm clock but if I recall correctly the last time we did that he just let it buzz and buzz and buzz which guarantees the toddler gets up earlier than she should.

I keep expecting DCS to show up because one of the neighbors begins to wonder if I really am abusing Tommy or because he tells the school that I “hit him” to wake him up.