Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Tommy finally wandered from his room 1ish mouth agap, feet shuffling, eyes half closed looking somewhat like a cross between a zombie and a hung over college student. He was immediately tasked with walking the dog but didn’t have today’s program of house breaking explained to him so he took the dog out, quickly brought her in, let her off the leash and she prompted did her business. Tommy cooked himself lunch and had “da rulez” explained to him. Any snapping, barking, rudeness or failure to do what he was asked would result in no spending the night at his grandparents tonight. Since he obviously slept in the clothes he was wearing yesterday, I asked him to take a bath. He promptly went back to bed.

So far, no yelling today.

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy woke this morning. Had breakfast. And went back to sleep.

Dad reports:
Tommy decided to give us “what for” just before we headed out to the inlaws for Thanksgiving lunch/dinner. He lost it so badly that Mom and I considered leaving him home. Instead we decided to take two cars. Everyone else in the car. Tommy with me in the noisy Jeep. He couls yell at me all he wanted to and it wouldn’t matter. Basically Tommy and I have take to being very silent while we drive around in the Jeep. 1) It’s too noisy to converse, 2) usually if we are in the Jeep together its right around a time he has been yelling and rude to me and or his mother and I don’t feel like talking to him. It has happened enough that he gave up trying to engage me when I won’t speak to him in the Jeep.

By the time we arrived at the inlaws (we stopped at the grocery store and Tommy chose not to come in) Tommy was calm and collected. Seems the transition from our house to anywhere is very upsetting then the transition back to our house is often pretty bad. It seems like Tommy is developing into needing a routine where he doesn’t have to leave the house or if he does its very structured and defined.

He held himself together very well at the inlaws only opting to get aggitated toward the end of the visit.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy lies in bed right now. He has had his medicine and now won’t respond to me unless I slap his leg (gentle shakes no longer work and backrubs/scratchings take 20 minutes) and then his response is only to whine and yell “stop hitting me!” I ask him to sit up and he responses with a whining drawn out “DaaaAAaaaAAAaaaAAD”. I tell him he needs to sit up and he says “I’m tired.” I remind him we have this same conversation everyday and that he has had plenty of rest and that his body just needs some movement to shake off the “tired.” He replys “StoooOOP IT!” I tell him “It doesn’t matter if you are tired. An adult has asked you to do something and you must do it.” His whining response “It’s not fair!” and he continues to ignore me. At this point I have to make a decision. If I continue to push it this will turn into a yelling match that will wake the toddler and upset Mom. As wrong as I feel it is to back down, I step away saying “ok. Just lie there and miss your bus.”

Dad reports:

Dad reports:
Mom has told me this before but it didn’t really sink in until yesterday: Tommy will not get a high school diploma. He will get a special education diploma and still have to take the GED. It burns me that someone as smart as Tommy will not get through high school. The school does not plan on it happening and frankly the way Tommy is approaching school he is not asking for it. Tommy doesn’t want to do what is required to get a diploma. The funny thing is he argues “I am going to college!”

The Harbour School

Mission: The Harbour School provides a supportive, caring and individualized education to students with learning and other disabilities in grades one through twelve by assisting each child to attain academic and personal achievement and success commensurate with the child’s abilities. Personal achievement includes success in social, physical and vocational skills.

The High School Curriculum philosophy states:

Preparing students for life after high school is the goal of the high school program. This preparation includes academic skills, social/emotional behaviors, and transition to employment or college. We want our students to maintain personal relationships, enjoy satisfying work and maintain good physical and mental health.

Orion Academy Orion specifically caters to NLD and Asperger’s Syndrome.

Orion Academy is a day school designed to provide a state of the art academic program for secondary students whose academic success is compromised by a neurocognitive disability. Orion students are bright young people with the potential for success in the world at large, but as a result of their disorders, historically fail to realize that potential. As a group, these students suffer profound difficulty with information processing and integration, coupled with significant social skills problems, often making it impossible to function and succeed in existing high school programs. Without the necessary program modifications and social skills training, their future has been uncertain.

We should compile a list of schools.

Dad reports:
Tommy got sent home from school again today. When asked what was going on we discover he has finished all of his work early and is causing problems. This doesn’t sound like Tommy’s problem. It sounds like the school’s problem. I’m sorry but if the child finishes his work that quickly give them something to do. “Idle hands make the Devil’s playthings.”

This evening Tommy was asked to clean his room. His answer: put all clothes clean and dirty into the laundry. He even put new, unworn clothing with the tags still on in the laundry (which technically should probably be washed before the first wearing anyway..but who really does that?). It’s no wonder my wife can’t get ahead on the laundry. His 11 year old sister uses the same approach and his 8 year old brother goes through 3 outfits a day.

Dad reports:
Nov 21 – 27 “honoring strong families and the role they play in making communities stronger”

Dad reports:
I thought Tommy was going to miss his bus again but apparently he left while I was downstairs. I don’t know what he looked like. For all I know, he’s still in his pajamas or perhaps yesterday’s clothes. He left his assignment book (the way we communicate with the teachers) and left his boat. So my dilemma: do I take his boat and assignment book to school for him or have him take responsibility and turn them in tomorrow?

Dad reports this morning:
Tommy refusing to get up this morning.