Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Tommy stayed after school to make up the time that the school sent him home because they couldn’t handle him. I bet half the time that happens is because Tommy has finished his work and has become bored. If they keep him busy they will have less trouble.

Mom picked him up and he was jolly. He had simply read books for an hour and a half (no school work). He said it was boring. He came come and started watching Little Bear. When I told him to take a bath he got upset and said, “but I’ve never seen this one!” I asked him how old he was then told him to take a bath and he got screaming mad.

Dad reports:
Tommy is dressed but man is he grouchy!

Dad reports:
Tommy refusing to get dressed.

At first he wouldn’t stir from bed so I squirted him from bed which resulted in him yelling and finally threatening “I won’t get dressed if you keep squirting me.” Well, got to hand it to him. He now sits on the couch not getting dressed.

I have this horrible thing in me that was embedded as part of my southern upbringing. It is ingrained in me and I try to repress it but when a child, a male child, is being disrespectful I sometimes drop his name and gruffly call him “boy.” When I call Tommy “boy” it fires him up and he shouts “I have a name!” to which I typically respond “yes and you’ll hear that name when you are being respectful” and sometimes cite “in jail you lose your rights and your name. You have a number!” How wrong is it to tell a child that if he keeps walking this path he will end up in jail? I’ve even offered to take him down and see what it looks like.

Dad reports this morning:
Gave Tommy his medicine at 5:30 to discover books all over his bed and a flashlight on the floor. I kick myself because I meant to case his room for hidden flashlights. Poor guy must have the book touching his nose to read without his glasses. I confiscated the flashlight. He was too tired to argue.

Bio-dad comes for a visit this weekend. Tommy is excited in what seems to be an obligatory way. Whenever it is mentioned he whoops and hollers in an exaggerated way that almost seems forced. Perhaps I read too much into it. Last week bio-dad over the phone offered to have Tommy return to Boston with him and return him between Christmas and New Years. We discussed this with his doctor yesterday and we all agreed that such a visit might just be a good thing however his return must be before Christmas. These next couple of weeks at school are guaranteed to be bad.