Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
No call from Tommy yesterday.

He returns home tomorrow. Those budget airlines are always on those small planes. I wonder if Tommy will complain the whole trip or be too thrilled about flying to remember to complain.

These days (will total 11) days without Tommy have been peaceful. The kids have described it as “no yelling.” But I think it is more that that. Yes there is yelling with Tommy but we had moments of yelling without him here. I think that it is the absense of nonstop, nonsensical talking that I have noticed the most. As the family interacts without Tommy’s presense I have observed many moments of group interaction during which no one felt a need to speak. Tommy feels the need to speak constantly. He never ever shuts up. That’s not entirely true as when he reads or gets into a game he is quiet but his talking is so constant that those moments are hard to notice.

Maybe I am off base there. Perhaps it is just that Tommy is so all consuming. With Tommy you are on egg shells waiting for the next “need” or next redirection or next explosion.

Don’t get me wrong. We all love Tommy. In his absense this family has seemed so “normal.” In Noah’s words, “I miss Tommy but I like the quiet.”

Dad reports:
Tommy called last night while we were at the inlaws. I would say it was a prompted phone call. The call was like talking to myself. I would ask a question and there would be a long pause. Two or three prompts later I might get something. He was playing Warcraft.
After I prompted him about school work he blew me off and asked for his mother.

Dad reports:
Yesterday I talked to the adults to see how Tommy was doing and he is “doing fine.” Regarding homework “he is done with all those worksheets. Is he supposed to do anything in the books?” He has workbooks and textbook work to be done.

Dad reports:
Mom had a call from Tommy yesterday.

Dad reports:
Tommy’s teachers called today to see about scheduling Tommy’s final exams for tomorrow. How kind of them to give a full half day’s notice! I advised them that Tommy was unavailable until after the 21st and they decided it would be January then.

Dad reports:
Tommy called last night about 7:30pm. The called started off with manic laughter as Tommy was reading the comics but bio-dad quickly told him to put the paper down. It was interesting because I got to see the other side of what I must sound like when Tommy is on the phone. Tommy quickly went from manic to sedate. I figure the sedateness was because one of the girls was playing the video game and Tommy was sucked into it. I’d say the call was encouraged by the adults not inspired by Tommy. He and I spent some time talking and he asked if I could play Warcraft with him across the Internet. Unfortunately, I have too many deadlines about to crash down on me so I had to turn him down.

I think Tommy is having a pretty good time up there. He hesitated when I asked if he was getting along with the girls and he said he “liked it” when I asked if he liked it up there.

Dad reports:
A question brought up at last night’s support group for which I did not have an immediate answer was

What can you do to help a person be on time?

The particulars are that the person has certain rituals that must be followed before leaving the house but if a ride is scheduled (say a bus or respite) the rituals are causing the person to be late.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Dad reports this morning:
Yesterday we received a call from Tommy around lunchtime. He apparently had just woken and had breakfast as he spent the first part of the phone call describing the food. He and bio-dad drove straight from Knoxville to Boston and got in at 2am. As I tried to discuss the trip Tommy again reverted to food with “I’ve never had a northern McDonald’s before. What I mean is I’d never had a chill bowl from McDonald’s before.”

When asked how he was getting along with the girls his response was “they are in school but we were thinking about driving by and making faces at them.”

Last night we had our monthly support group. It was a small, intimate group (as expected for a busy December) and we had much fun and great conversation. The Aspie ages were adult, 17, 14 and 14.

Dad reports:

Dad reports:
No call from Tommy last night.

Yesterday his grandmother said that when she talked to him before the trip he told her “At least you and everyone else will have a break from me.” What a horrible thing to say! Do we make him feel unwanted? More than likely he was repeating some words overheard or spoken directly to him. It could have been any of us including the doctor.