Dad reports:
Tommy’s bus showed up right on time and Tommy was still laying in bed despite numerous suggestions that he get up and warnings that his bus was coming. He wasn’t asleep. Just staring at the ceiling.
He jumped to his feet and dressed lickety split, declared angrily “I hate my bus!” then rushed out the door before I could give him money for breakfast. Of course, his wallet is magically filling up with green so he should be able to cover himself.
Dad reports this morning:
Yesterday the school called because “Tommy has slept for 3 hours” and wanted to know if we had any suggestions. We didn’t. Mom and I are flat out of ideas. Sunday night I took away his glasses and Nintendo DS. I can’t force him to sleep but I’m pretty sure he had 6-7 hours sleep (he kept himself up until 11 and I give him meds at 6:15). The sleeping in school is hiding..not tired. He hides from work, socialization, responsibility, etc.
Mom reports:
Tommy is happy as long as we don’t ask him to do anything, there are clean clothes in every drawer and he gets food brought to him several times a day. Unfortunately, he won’t get up before noon, get dressed ever or bathe if he is not forced to do so. He will also not do anything even remotely resembling schoolwork. So, he is either allowed to roam in stinky jammies all day or we get a combination of crying (”Be reasonable.”) and screaming (”I don’t WANT to!”) several times a day.
My mother mused that Tommy needs us to live in a house with Mother-in-law quarters where he can do his own thing but have a personal tutor sit beside him and do one-on-one lessons that include no writing assignments several times a day. My father has flatly declared that it is time for Tommy to be put in a group home. He is certain that somewhere out there is a group home which would allow Tommy to have his own room and computer. There he would be fed whenever hungry and allowed to sleep, read and play games the rest of the time. Sort of a medicated Disneyworld. I don’t see either option feasible unless we win some sort of lottery.
I think he should be sent to live with his father until he agrees to stop screaming in the house. He hates his father’s girlfriend and she doesn’t like him either, so I would hope that by summer he’d come home willing to speak in a normal volume. The psychologist wants Tommy hospitalized to play with his meds and he wants us to get in a legal battle with the school system. He doesn’t know what we’d be asking the school for and neither do we so I am not fond of that idea. I am very tired of the stress of arguing with Tommy. Maybe we should just let him quit school and tutor him to pass his GED during his awake hours. After that we can search for some type of work that he doesn’t hate.
Dad reports:
Tommy actually got up before the bus came but was rude and surly. I wasn’t in the mood for it and yelled at him.
Today’s obsurd conversation.
Dad “Your bus is here.”
Tommy leaves table.
Dad “Clean up your mess.”
Tommy whining “I’m going to miss my bus.”
Dad realizes he was mistaken “Oh, I was wrong. Your bus is not here. Now clean up your mess.”
Tommy whining and raising voice “It’s NOT fair!”
Not fair? You make a mess and it’s not fair that you have to clean it up? I cannot say how many times that “not fair” is the response to asking Tommy to do what he should do anyway. Usually its in response to prompts that should not even need to be spoken.
This is not a good start for his day.
Dad reports:
On Saturday Tommy finally woke at 5:17pm (according to his report). His phone calls to us to find out where we were were at 6:20 which means he probably woke at 6:17. Saturday night he was jolly. Maybe he truly needs more sleep than he gets.
We didn’t regulate his sleep on Saturday night and I’m not really sure when he went to sleep.
But Sunday by noon I had him up as he yelled and complained over being asked to do homework. By dinner time he finished his work then yelled because he was asked to bathe but he wanted to read first “because my baths always take so long.” His bath came before reading and before dinner and he was done in 15-20 minutes. Sunday night he obviously wanted to stay up reading. I took his glasses at 8pm. He would not hand them over so I had to forcefully remove them. At 11pm I took his Nintendo DS away and he settled in quickly after that.
Dad reports:
Tommy still sleeps. At 2 oclock he woke long enough to try to recover the blanks and pillows I took from him at 11am. In the process he knocked over his desk chair. I rushed upstairs to make sure everything was alright and took back the covers to which he groused, “it’s not fair!” and I replied, “it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon.” That has been our entired dialog today.
I guess he’ll be up all night complaining that he can’t sleep.
I hope Tommy doesn’t turn into this guy. He has the potential.
Dad reports:
1:30pm Tommy snoring.
Dad reports this morning:
Thursday Tommy was sent home early from school and stayed at the grandparents. On Friday is slept through the day (his suspension). Friday evening we all gathered for dinner at Shoney’s and Tommy wandered in wearing the same clothes he wore on Thursday. Hygiene is a foreign concept that will forever elude Tommy. He had words with me Friday even about a bath and I said, “ok. You make a choice. 1) bath 2) lay in bed and read or 3) go to sleep.” My initial instructions were to get a bath or give up his glasses and go to bed. I left the house to pick his sister up from a school function and for him to make his own choice. He ended up choosing bath but not without a little more anger from him. He first went into library mode and occupied the ivory throne for over an hour while he read a book. I finally said something to him and he responded angrily but got in the tub and remainder there for 3 hours. At 11:30 he was in his bed reading and I suggested he get some rest. Again at 1:30am I suggested he rest but didn’t force the issue. I have no idea when he actually went to bed but I suspect he won’t wake until this afternoon then we will have battle over his school work that he was supposed to do yesterday.
Dad reports:
Tommy had the privilege of going on a field trip to the bowling alley. At the alley he “got tired of bad throws and became a little silly.” When Tommy says, “I became a little silly” he really means “I got wacky out of control with giggles and super inappropriate behavior with a goal of being the center of attention.”
Upon returning to the school he banged on a locked door, slammed another door and grabbed a teacher to shove his way by her. The report noted that “he left marks”. Tommy had to be picked up from school today and is suspended tomorrow.
Tommy denies everything.
Dad reports:
We have taken a new approach with Tommy. In the evening once we get Tommy into the tub we leave him to his own accord. He may get in at 7:30 or 8 and stay soaking in the tub until 11. Is he scrubbing or doing teenage stuff? I don’t know. But he isn’t yelling and he puts himself to bed afterwards. Last night his bath began at 8pm and ended at 10:30. At 10:35 he was sawing logs.
The idea that he might be sleeping in the tub scares us.
The first night we did this Tommy banged on the tub and dropped things as if to say “interact with me” but he is always saying “leave me alone” and we have. Apparently he really just wants to be left alone.