Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:
Tommy’s demand to be the center of attention had him removed from group therapy long ago. He’s now reached a point where he has been invited back. Keep your fingers crossed! His first session is this afternoon.

Dad reports:
Tommy woke this morning in a foul mood. Every step caused him to moan and groan. His sister’s presence in the bathroom caused a verbal "nnnyyanng." His every word to me a whine. Upon filling his cereal bowl to the brim (before milk) he took his fist and shoved dry cereal from the box into his mouth until his lips couldn’t even close. His yelling commenced when I reduced the bowl of cereal to a reasonable amount and with sugar covered cheeks he was removed to the porch to finish his grumblings. I brought his cereal out to the porch so he could eat and he reeled from me as if I was about to smack him with a bat. When he acts that way if I didn’t know better, I would say he was abused. The reaction is both ridiculous and exasperating.

Tommy’s bus arrived late with a beep and he acknowledged it but refused to move from his seat until the last drop of milk from his 3rd bowl of cereal was gone. I made him clean his spot which got me an angered look and a "huh!" He took his time putting on his backpack then stood by the unopened door fussing with his hair and finally decided the bus had waited a sufficient time for him and walked to the bus. The bus did not leave immediately so apparently Tommy was taking his time getting settled.

It has been so long since we have had a call from the school. Since I have a major deadline to meet for tomorrow I presume this will be a "please pick up Tommy" day.

Dad reports:
Tommy continues to do well. This weekend we had some normal grumpiness and I say normal because any child (and many adults) that stayed up until 2am on a Friday and Saturday would be expected to be grumpy the next day.

Tommy helps with the dishes and some chores around the house and only mutters the same complaints that any other teen might.

His IEP is Tuesday. It will be the icing on the cake if everyone still has positive things to say.

Dad reports:

Dad reports:
Tommy and I played Dungeons and Dragons with his friends last night. The DM had to talk with Tommy at the end of the night because despite my warnings and encouragements and interuptions Tommy wanted to speak in absolute silliness and non sequiturs and his sentences were frequently unintelligible because he would tighten his lips in a caricaturesque smile as he broken into laughter half way through his sentences.

Our party found themselves waking on beach, our guides and horses gone as agreed upon. They were kind to leave our gear and we were within sight of a port town but incapable of carrying our gear. The group decided to send two scouts to town in order to get a means to transport the team and its booty to safe lodgings. Once in town our thief took to pick pocketing for fun while trying to collect information and sought out a thieves guild to help plan the aquisition of a ship capable of sailing a fortnight.

The presence of our halforc was causing distress to locals and was confined to the loft of a stable for the duration of our stay. His only request was a steady supply of ale to ease his doldrums.

Our clerk was off to a temple for renewal and took our ranger/mage with her as she feels the group as a whole could use some moral healing.

The human fighter took to aiding the dock worker Darby in hopes of speeding the process of finding passage for our adventurers to the Isle of Dread.

The elf fighter, Tommy, laughted and insisted on getting drunk. Decided to be companion to the half orc and toyed with the idea of picking fights, taking a job with intent to steal from his employer, and generally finding ways to have the city guard either oust or kill our whole party.

I think Tommy thinks he is being funny. I know he understand how to put himself into the game and play the character because I’ve seen him do it. At times like last night though Tommy is not playing the character but instead is trying to get the group of people in the room with him to laugh and be jolly all the while they are getting frustrated and upset with Tommy.

I am also confused by Tommy’s joking about drinking and drunkness. He started the night off by saying he wanted to go to the town and get drunk long before the half-orc was confined to the loft and requested such pleasures. There is very rare drinking of alcohol in our house and certainly no drunkness. And when I say rare I mean rare as in I don’t think there has been any consumption in the year 2005.

I think Tommy still sees the game as a social activity and not quite the same as he would a board game like chess.

Mom reports:
Tommy has set his tent up in the lower lot and claims he will be sleeping there tonight. Will he last the night or come back inside? I know he loves the privacy but since it still gets down to the 40s at night I expect him to come inside for his warm bed.

Dad reports:
The Knoxville Aspie Support Group will meeting this monday, April 18, at the Public Library, West Knoxville Branch, 100 Golf Club Road, 37919 from 6:00pm to 7:30pm. All are welcome.

Dad reports:
Tommy had another fine day yesterday. He, whether intentionally or not, did not bring home his workbooks to do his homework. A consequence should be applied if this recurs. Tommy was pleasant and although he growled at me when I asked, “Did you put on deoderant this morning?” and he replied with a blunt “no” prompting my “Please go take a bath after your snack” bring on his “GRrrrr!”, he still took the bath then bounced around the house cheerily in his pajamas even joking “I took my bath and went back in time!” Because he was out of the bath before he typically gets in.

What have we done differently? Medicine? A minor factor perhaps although I do believe the wrong medicines aggrivate the condition. For the curious, the current cocktail is Wellbutrin and Seroquel but if you are looking for one medicine combination that works for all Aspie’s you aren’t going to find one; each person’s medicine regimen will be different. I think our greatest behavior modification technique for Tommy was to modify Mom’s and, most particularly, Dad’s behavior. Our stressors have not changed. We still have money problems and an endless supply of monkey wrenches for our plans. We are simply handling our own stress levels better. Our responses are more controlled with far fewer bursts of anger and cursing (angry words in a nice tone are still angry words). Yelling has mostly left our household and we are even trying to eliminate the urge to holler through the house for someone’s attention. It may be a call but its still yelling. Overall, we brought calm to the household by calming down.

I’ve recently started listening, once again, to Stephen R Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Much of what we decided to do on our own he re-emphasizes on his tapes. This is not surprising as Mom and I have both had training on his techniques. Time permitting, I highly recommend reading the book. If time doesn’t permit, listen to the tapes while you wash dishes or drive in the car or choose to listen to the tapes instead of watching that re-run you’ve seen 6 times.

Dad reports:
Tommy met his bus at the curb before it stopped. He seems very pleasant today. The weather outside is beautiful. I wonder if that helps Tommy…that’s silly, of course it does!

Dad reports:
The first words from Tommy’s mouth this morning: “Ow my hair!” Coincidentally this and a loud aggrivated moan are the first things out of his mouth every morning.

The second words from Tommy’s mouth this morning: “I want a quesadilla and __ and __ and ___ and ___ for lunch.”

Tommy seems calm today and more like a normal teenage boy than ever.