Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad reports:

Tommy couldn’t sleep last night. Usually that means he wants to wait out Mom and Dad then stay up for several hours reading or playing games. He can typically fall asleep if he wants. This morning he woke earlier than usual which I had hoped would get him moving and set him on the right course but a phone call from the teacher revealed he slept through Biology again and when woken refused to work.

At home coinsequences aren’t having a affect so we have decided to tell Tommy that from now on sleeping in school will mean he doesn’t ride the bus home and stays after school to make up the time. A time for time consequence Unfortunately, this approach punishes the teacher and has the potential side effect of turning into a reward system if Tommy finds himself enjoying the 1 on 1 attention too much. Fingers crossed that Tommy can break this sleeping habit quickly.

Dad reports:

The Aspie Support Group meeting last night was exceptional. I was reminded that a church in Farragut has a soccer league that lets special needs children play. No one is particular about the rules. A child might hit one goal once then the other the next time. What is important is that the children are playing together and being active. What a great program!

Dad reports:

I find it interesting that this blog which typically receives 17 views a day received 142 views yesterday! That exceeds my pre-camera max traffic.

Mom reports: I had a really good m-team this morning at Tommy's school. Everyone agreed that Tommy has made remarkable strides in maturity and behavior. His first 6 weeks report card is three Bs and one A. This is the best report card ever for Tommy! The only problem right now is Tommy's efforts to sleep thru biology. Maybe he is genuinely tired. Maybe he is hiding. Maybe this is about control. It would be pointless to search for the cause since it will change soon enough. We will treat the symptoms by removing distractions at bedtime and monitoring better in the night. The teachers are going to try to engage him before he has a chance to put his head down. With his medications being dropped and school becoming increasingly less modified Tommy is going to be under a lot of pressure.

Dad reports:

I want to thank LaTreen Washington and the others at alt.support.childfree for all her positive statements about Tommy and our parenting. There was one valid comment "What’s MORE ANNOYING than the kid? The parhunts’ thrusting out the begger’s cup every couple inches!" which I totally agreed with. Yes, in the archives there are references to Paypal circa the same era that everyone and their brother had paypal beg links on prominently displayed on their blogs. On Feb 17, 2005 the last such link appeared as we viewed it as tacky and not in the spirit of the blog. The blog now sports a single google ad and one amazon ad because both occasionally show nice relevant information.

I won’t address any of your childlessish comments. If such people are to afraid (or for whatever reason they choose) to not take on the challenges of parenthood, then they should not concern themselves with stories of children. I recommend that Ms Washington step out of the archives and read the recent material as Tommy has grown more mature than many other teenagers his own age and I would trust him far great than "better disciplined" children.

Dad reports:

The Knoxville Aspie Support Group meets tonight at:

Knox County Public Library System: West Knoxville Branch (map)
(865) 588-8813
100 Golfclub Rd
Knoxville, TN 37919

from 6pm to 7:30pm. This is an informal gathering of caregivers, family, consumers (Aspies) and others wishing to share information and stories regarding their Aspergers experiences.

The mailing list is located at Yahoo Groups by searching for knoxville_apsie_support.

Dad reports:

Tommy didn’t want to get up this morning and missed breakfast because of it. Could be our 10pm return last night was too much for Tommy. The doctor assures us that the medication change would not explain sleeping in first period or being excessively tired.

When Tommy misses breakfast it almost assures a hard day. Our M-Team is right now and only the wife went. I wanted to do battle and perhaps that is why she encouraged me to stay home and work. I hope it goes well.

Dad reports:

Last night Tommy and I join our friends for another D&D session. I spoke to Tommy in the beginning and warned him about cracking a joke everytime his mouth opened. I told him he wasn’t on a stage and that every sentence should not be a punchline. Apparently he took that to heart as his joking was relatively under control. He took the game more seriously.

What I failed to do was remind Tommy that this was a group activity and not a monologue. He didn’t stop talking the entire 3 hours of our visit. Even when prompted it would just be a few seconds of pause while you could see the gears turning in the head as if he was trying to figure out what foreign language was just spoken to him. Even when ignored he talked. When the interaction had nothing to do with him he talked. Talked talked talked talked. He talked so much my ears were tired.

Tommy made an extremely good call in a battle situation. He had control of 3 characters in addition to his own and wisely sent two of them to the other side of camp to assist others. When he realized that in doing so he allowed himself to be out numbered 3-2 his anxiety went up and he started begging that we send the others back. In the end we were triumphant yet battered and hopefully Tommy saw the wisdom in his actions.

Dad reports:

I thought we could have a pleasant year this year. Tommy is doing great. We demanded no pre-school meetings and for the first 6 weeks have asked very little of the system. As per our end of year M-Team (or was that an IEP) we were to have an M-Team (or IEP) within the first 6 weeks to assess Tommy’s progress and refocus his goals.

Enter the bureaucracy! We are told "this will be a 15 minute meeting." The paperwork arrives today and mentions nothing about planning Tommy’s education. The sole purpose is to eliminate the Dana Smart which is his technological aid for which we fought so long and hard. They have these things warehoused. It is not like they are hurting to distribute them and Tommy needs it! Getting him to use it is a slightly different matter not to be addressed by yanking it away.

So, my background is Quality Assurance. Time to apply some IEEE bureaucracy to the system and really hold them accountable for their jobs. I believe the end of year IEP paperwork is a good starting point.

Dad reports:

Tommy’s teacher just called to report that Tommy is sleeping through 1st period. He slept through a test and she said that he is going to fail science because he is refusing to do the work. BUT he is having a great year.

This is the first sign of trouble. I wonder if it is a reaction to his reduction of Seroquel. Perhaps the medicine change is giving him restless sleep. Last night he did flip around in the bed which is uncharacteristic of Tommy but we also had no air conditioning.

Tommy and I chatted. I proposed earlier bedtimes and removing all distractions (DS, books, radio, mp3 player, computer, etc.) from his room. He simply replied, "I go to sleep at midnight and nothing will change that." I told him that this phone call wasn’t for debate and that a quarter mile run before bedtime would help. I explained I have many ideas on how to tire a child.