Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Tommy’s Teacher reports:
Hi Doug & Cathy, The biology teacher wrote on Tommy’s clipboard that he had several appropriate conversations with other students today! He didn’t take his book out and did set up his Dana to work on the vocabulary assignment. Another great morning for Tommy!

Dad reports:

Tommy had a great day even doing well in his toughest class. I wonder if the threat of losing library privileges and fun reading during school had any impact?

Tommy likes to use as little effort as possible in all things. This is how he puts away the clean dishes. 

Dad reports:

Yesterday was another hard day for Tommy. He refused to give up his reading material and instead of working read a book under his coat. His direct defiance is disturbing to the teacher. I so hope that today improves.

Dad reports:

Tommy had a really rough day yesterday. He woke gruff. Then went to school and had to call home to have his mother beg him to pull it together and have a nice day. Later the principal called (first call of the year) to explain that Tommy was chasing other children around with a broom. The teach emailed that she had never seen this side of Tommy. He was absolutely defiant.

This is the old Tommy. Please let him pull it together and not fall.

This could have been prompted by our visit to the circus on Sunday. He had a great time but seemed a nervous wreck during the show. Echos. Lights. Unpredictability. I could see many ways how the circus could be hard on Tommy.

Dad reports:

Tommy will be checked-out for the next several days (or more). He now has his computer connected to the Internet. Can it be turned into a productivity tool? Let’s see how he responses to assigned tasks in outlook.

Dad reports:

Seroquel and other weight gain drugs are evil. We haven’t weighed Tommy recently but his last weigh-in was 230 pounds. I don’t like him skipping meals but since he has been off the Seroquel he frequently skips breakfast because &quot[he] is not hungry" and he now eats reasonable portions at meals without needing to be watched over like a hawk.

Now it is time to break those parental habits of being overbearing when it comes to portion size and seconds and thirds and fourths…

Mom reports: A recurring theme in our Aspie support group is coping with our children's OCD behaviors. Most people with Aspergers seem to have rituals surrounding their daily tasks. When the rituals interfere with your ability to function in the world, they are diagnosable as OCD. Nobody wants to talk about it but, using the bathroom is frequently a major ritual for our children and teens. Tommy has some sort of unwritten rule that he must use the toilet before he gets into the bathtub. He even tries to only use the toilet when it is bathtime. I wonder how often he is a grouch because he is physically uncomfortable. I know that he is not alone in trying to control and ritualize what should be just a basic bodily function because I have heard other parents complain about their children refusing or insisting on going until it becomes a huge dramatic ordeal.

Dad reports:

Yesterday at Star Tommy started to slip into the giddy laughter and childish behavior. I reeled him in quickly by addressing him directly, asking him to look at himself, then spelling out a dramatic consequence if he didn’t straighten up (in this case, going straight home and not participating in the ride). He became serious and slightly sullen and I made him apologize to the instructors and had him ask the instructor if he needed to go home. The end result was he did straighten up and had a good ride albeit with nonstop chatter.

Mom reports: Tommy acted up a bit at school today and while trying to talk about it, Dad asked if he should drop by school tomorrow so we could chat with the teacher. Tommy became very angry and announced that the other students make fun of him when we go to the school. I have no doubt that two middle aged adults with a preschooler and baby stick out like sore thumbs in the sea of teens and I have always suspected that Tommy was subjected to daily teasings by other students but this is the first time Tommy has ever acknowledged it. It may not seem like it, but this is progress for Tommy.