The art of not bathing
Dad reports:
Tommy loves to soak in the tub. He can make a bath last 1.5 hours! The one thing he loves more than soaking in the tub is fighting taking a bath. He will spend half an hour to an hour avoiding getting it the bath. It’s quite impressive! Usually it goes something like this:
Dad: Get a bath.
Tommy: Do I have to?
Now there is a back and forth and debate over whether or not he really needs a bath and can he do it later (coming evening or next morning). He uses the debate as a tool to stay out of the bath and if the rents are paying attention he can drag it on.
Tommy walks to the hallway and stares vacantly until called down.
Dad: What are you doing?
Tommy: I forgot.
pause
Tommy: Oh yeah. Getting a towel.
This repeats for clothing, deoderant and so forth.
Now, baths have rules. For Tommy, the clothing that he will wear must be laid out beforehand. So, if something critical is still in the dryer or unfolded in the clean laundry, no bathing can occur even if it is promised that the clothing will be ready for him before he gets out. Naturally this buys him several minutes.
Next comes the back and forth. His technique here is to see how many different conversations he can engage Mom and Dad in. If Mom and Dad aren’t paying attention, they can be sucked into “educational” discussions that are merely cons to delay entering the bath. He is quite good at these. Walk to the bathroom; come out and ask a question; walk back to the bathroom; come out ask another question; and repeat as long as possible.
Now for the long sit. Prior to a bath, a 30+ minute meditation occurs on the ivory throne. If he managed to sneak a book in with him he can stretch this out to an hour plus.
Eventually we hear water running and the parental mantra changes to “Get done and get out!”