Dad reports:
The end of the school year is fastly approaching and patience has run out for his afternoon bus rides home. Apparently he has good rides in the morning but during the afternoon annoys the driver and other riders. The bus is a difficult situation for Tommy. It is noisy. It is socially challenging. It is cramped. I remember the bus being a terribly stressful endeavor. I can only imagine how challenging it is for Tommy.
Dad reports:
Tommy rises: Nuuahhhnggnnn. "Ow! My shoulder." (might be his back or side or big toe)
Dad: "Do you want to go to the doctor?"
Tommy, moans: "No."
Dad: "Are you willing to stretch and exercise?"
Tommy, sharply: "No!"
Dad: "Then stop complaining."
Repeat tomorrow.
Dad reports:
Hand, Jerry Espenson, returned on last night’s Boston Legal. I can still remember his very first appearance when Mom bolted upright and declared, "He’s got Aspergers!" After several episodes, Boston Legal revealed Jerry’s diagnosis…Aspergers. Sidebar incase Michael reads here. Jerry’s actor, Christian Clemenson, has great credits including Veronica Mars, CSI, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and The Fisher King, just to name a few.
I thought portraying Aspergers was risky particularly considering how varied it can be from person to peron. However, Boston Legal pulls this off excellently! I hope we get to see many returns of Jerry Espenson! As parents, we often question, "what will our Aspergers son do for a living?" It is nice to see an adult Aspie portrayed in pursuit of a professional and challenging career.
Boston Legal has helped me deal with Tommy. I’ve developed the WWASD method of response.
Our experience with Tommy and churches can be summed up as the churches don’t want him. ( slightly related horrible story) Even his grandparent’s church, that formed a class for special needs people and sent people away for training, turned Tommy away by declaring "he can be here but needs an adult to stay with him in the class." That would have been a year or two ago.
This past Sunday Tommy, Evan, Mom and I decided to make an appearance at the grandparent’s church where Sarah, Noah and Amy also attend. West Park Baptist Church has a recent addition called The Hub, their student center, is focused on middle school and high school students. It is a really neat place with Xboxes, foosball, pool, and an auditorium set up like a Hardrock Cafe. We were halfway between the adult Sunday school classroom buildings and The Hub when Mom recommended that Tommy head to the sanctuary and read until classes were done. I suggested he check out The Hub. A class of 5-8 people was being held just outside The Hub’s back entrance.
Kick in teenage awkwardness. Any teenager would be uncomfortable approaching a new situation and new people. Tommy turns his body toward the sanctuary. I stop him and suggest that he simply walk into The Hub’s back door, pass through, exit the front door, and go to the sanctuary. He does! And we head to adult Sunday school.
After Sunday school we head to the sanctuary where we expect to find Tommy but he is AWOL. We give him some time to show up and the service starts so I exit to seek him out. I assume he simply became entranced with a game at The Hub but he is not there. Instead I find Mark who guided Sarah on a recent rock climbing trip and we have some pleasant conversation. He teaches the high schoolers and takes a few minutes to tell me about The Hub and we talk about Tommy. As I return to the sanctuary, I find Tommy sitting outside in a tucked away corner deeply lost in his book (The Cockoo’s Egg by Cliff Stoll
I prompt Tommy to follow me about the same time Mom comes out to see if I’ve found him. Tommy and Mom follow me to The Hub where I intend to introduce Tommy to Mark in hopes that Mark will be able to introduce Tommy to a couple of kids his age. When we reach The Hub, I ask for Mark but instead of being told "he is teaching a class" the person interupts the class and pulls Mark out. I felt so bad then before I know it Mark has invited Tommy into the class, Tommy accepts, and Mom and I are left staring blankly at a door behind which Tommy has disappeared with no warnings, no instructions and no plan. Mom, aghast, declares, "that was wrong."
Evan, at 10 months, is spending his first time ever in the nursery. I am not worried about Evan. But I can’t sit still worrying about Tommy. I finally walk over and peek in the window to see Tommy’s book on the table closed, and Tommy not talking but listening intently with no fidgetting!
Afterwards, I apologise to Mark for interupting his class and he insists it was fine. He also claims Tommy did great and goes on to invite him back. I talk further about Tommy’s lack of understanding of social skills and how he might be rude while thinking he is joking. Mark says he can handle it. When I tell him of our past attempts at getting Tommy into church Mark enthusiastically says, "not only do I hope he comes back. I want him to come back." Tommy reports that he had a great time and "wants to attend regularly." Perhaps we will return in two weeks and hope for an equally pleasant experience.
Mom reports:
Tommy has reached an age and ability level that allows him to identify some of his own sensory needs and problems. Hooray! In the past few months he has taken to eating plastic cups. He doesn’t actually eat them. He just bites down so hard that he actually cracks, breaks and removes chunks of the plastic cup. “Mom, I NEED to bite down really had to focus on what I’m reading or doing.” I understand what he wants but we are running out of cups rapidly, so I need to find another outlet for this teeth clenching or jaw locking vestibular issue.
Mom reports:
Sometimes Dad and I have to just agree to disagree.
Dad reports:
We stepped away from posting for a technical reason but we are back.
Asperger's Disorder is a milder variant of Autistic Disorder.
... In Asperger's Disorder, individuals are characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior in childhood.
...Clumsiness is prominent both in their articulation and gross motor behavior.
... leaves no space for age appropriate, common interests. ...
We will document our trials, tribulations, good times and efforts to give our son a normal life and perhaps help other Asperger parents in the process.