Our Aspergers Teenage Boy

Dad Mom reports:

At 9:30am I roused Tommy to be social with his friend who was being monopolized by the 10 year old and the 4 year old. He actually rose with little argument and lacking the normal grogginess.

Dad reports:

Being normal

We are stunned. Blown away! Tommy has a friend! This friend has spent time at Tommy’s house and Tommy has spent unsupervised time at his house. Yesterday this friend came and spent several hours at Tommy’s house then we dropped off a nervous, giggly Tommy at his friend’s church youth group for 3 hours. Yes, we dropped Tommy off in a building full of unfamiliar teenagers with food, foosball, and what looked like band equipment and gave no warning to any adult! We dropped Tommy off in a potentially chaotic and possibly noisy environment where his comfort level was sure to be challenged. And we were relaxed about it! We didn’t really give it another thought.

Everything went well! And the best part, Tommy’s acting appropriately and very much like a normal 15.5 year old boy.

How Aspies view the world

So on the way to the church we ask his friend, "What kind of church do you go to?" And his friend, also Aspie, responds, "Christian I think." Ok. Rethink question. "What’s the name of your church?" He responds, "Two Rivers." I take a guess, "Baptist." Then I joke, "Baptists meet at rivers. Catholics meet in bars." The boys laugh and then Tommy’s friend chuckles, "I don’t understand the joke but it sounds funny." Mom and I agree that pretty much sums up an Asperger life. I don’t understand ____ but I can deal with it in my own way.

Milestones

There’s something exciting about sleeping over at someone’s house. The children beg to either be somewhere else or have a horde of friends spend the night. Tommy, with no friends, never had such pleasures. Last night his friend stayed the night!

Tonight, Tommy is having a friend sleep over. At 15 and a half, this is his very first sleepover. It may be about 10 years later than most children, but it’s just as important and special now as it would have been back then.

We ignored them and this morning at 5:30am I find Tommy wide-eyed playing the video game and his friend crashed out on the bed. I should have let Tommy keep going but instead told him to turn it off and get some shuteye.

I am very impressed with Tommy’s progress in everything!

Dad reports:

Tonight instead of intervening I chose to video tape. Tommy brings two identical chairs to the kitchen table for dinner. One comes from his room, the other from his brother’s. His has a pillow case on the back (I don’t know why). The four year old promptly plops herself in his seat and declares that is where she will eat tonight. Tommy spends the next 10 minutes arguing with her trying to convince this 4 year old, that is taking pleasure in pushing his buttons, to move to another seat. In the end, he gives up and broods through dinner in a different chair.