Archive for the ‘Education’ Category

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Tommy’s Last Ride

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

Tommy rode in his last STAR horse show today. He received 2nd place in two categories and 5th place in another. He is very unhappy that he did not receive a first place ribbon. He rode the Intermediate level against some well seasoned riders. He was on an unfamiliar horse, Virgil, which was acting up so badly that a volunteer had to run beside the horse but was not leading the horse. Tommy could handle the acting up and could have done without the volunteer but I understand their safety concerns. The problem with the volunteer is that Tommy, albeit possibly subconsciously, sees the volunteer as a crutch and does not ride his best. He and I also had a rough morning and I am sure that a combination of the sidewalker (volunteer), his mood from our arguing, and the quality of the other riders all contributed to his performance. None-the-less, he placed well! He should be proud. I know I am!

[n.b. My dates may be off a little.] After being on a waiting list for 3 years, Tommy entered the STAR program in 2002 and rode every session for six years including six competitive horse shows. I believe strongly that STAR helped Tommy progress in self-control, kindness, social skills, agility, dexterity, critical thinking, and led him to a desire to pursue a career in the veterinary sciences. During his time at STAR he faced losing the ability to participate when he went through a period of rudeness to the volunteers and, although not abusive, unkindness to the animals. Around the same time, one medicine sent his weight skyrocketing above the programs weight limit. STAR did not give up on Tommy. His weight decreased, his attitude and manners changed, and his progress as a rider was notably better. Tommy today is a skilled rider who is leaving the program at Shangri-la Therapeutic Academy of Riding (STAR) to pursue a degree in Veterinary Technology at Lincoln Memorial University. Thank you Lynn Petr! Thanks to your staff of wonderful teachers! Thanks to your volunteers! Thank you to the contributors who made STAR possible! And thank you for this exceptional program!

Note: Technically Tommy has one last ride on Tuesday as a make-up class. I will return to STAR to volunteer when I can.

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Posted in Education, Health, Support | 1 Comment »

Setting a waking habit

Monday, July 28th, 2008

In three weeks our son goes off to college! He has 8am and 8:30am classes but has spent most of his summer waking at noon to play World of Warcraft until after midnight. (He did have other activities such as camping and horse riding.) Throughout most of high school, I woke him and with much effort. I won’t be in the dorm to wake him. Of course we fear he will simply sleep through the first few weeks of college and get so far behind that he fails out in the first semester.

We have set a new rule in the house. If he doesn’t get up on his own by the designated time (we are working toward 7am or 6:30am) and be dressed in clean clothing, preferably with a bath, he does not get computer access for the entire day. So far, he is two for two! World of Warcraft is quite the motivator! Lets hope that by August 16th the habit is formed.

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Posted in Daily Life, Education | No Comments »

Restrained Response

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

Today in the New York Times:

Dr. Miller learned that Tim, who has Asperger’s syndrome, was being unusually confrontational in class, and that more than once teachers had held him down on the floor to “calm him down,” according to logs teachers kept to track his behavior; on at least one occasion, adults held Tim prone for 20 minutes until he stopped struggling. [Source, The New York Times,Calm Down or Else]

Wow! Do I ever remember those times. Of course, I don’t remember ever considering a lawsuit. The restraints are just something that had to happen at those times. Everyone was simply trying to figure out how to help the child. Granted, forcefully restraining a sensory sensitive person isn’t really going to help. We found distraction helped the best. In the case of child melting down, say tearing up a classroom, often removing the audience helped more than a basket hold. Restraint server a purpose of trying to keep the teachers and the children safe, but they aren’t therapeutic.

Posted in Education, Legal | 2 Comments »

Tommy Graduates Tonight

Friday, May 16th, 2008

Tommy is graduating with Bearden High School’s Class of 2008 tonight! He has been accepted to Lincoln Memorial University and has even received a scholarship!

Graduation Announcement

Posted in Education | 1 Comment »

What’s your secret?

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Cathy posted about Autism Awareness Day and DanceDiva shared the information with her Dad’s wife who , "wants to know what your secret is?" I replied:

Never quit no matter how tired.
Trust your gut over the professionals. (They are guessing too.)
Research. Research. Research.
Never lunge over the table at an IEP as if you were going to strangle the idiot on the other side (it results in a much larger, lengthier IEP the next go around).
Trial and error. Lots of error.
If its not working, turn it upside-down; there might be a label.
Remember that no two people are the same and there is no checklist or cookie cutter solution that can be applied.
Take breaks for yourself.

And most importantly (I mean MOST), develop a system of support for BOTH you and the child that includes friends, family, and professionals (doctors, teachers, support groups, advocacy groups,…)

Oh, and Valium or Vicodin whenever you can get your hands on it.
[Source]

I should have probably added "lots of luck" and made a note that although we are blogging about Tommy’s successes right now that he still faces many challenges. There are concerns about whether or not he has the independent living skills needed to make it in college (or even outside of the house). He still has ticks that would be worse without our constant nagging…how will those affect him in the real world? He has his quirks…a little of something has to be left with everything (particularly food); a candy bar has one last bite; a box of chocolates has one last piece; etc. Finishing is not a strong suit. Hygiene is always a concern (but isn’t it with most teens?). The list goes on. Tommy is on a good path and that makes me happy. But there was a time, the world thought he would be institutionalized (or group homed) for most of his life. So, yes, luck played a part.

Posted in Daily Life, Education, Support | 5 Comments »

Tommy needs your input for a class project

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Tommy is doing a project in his Ecology class and needs to collect different opinions on a variety of topics. The first is regarding the water dispute between Tennessee and Georgia. Could you head over to Tommy’s blog and give him your thoughts in the comments of his post Water Dispute? Thank you!

Posted in Education | No Comments »

Tommy in College today

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

The Boy Scouts are having a merit badge college today. Tommy applied for and got the veterinary merit badge! This merit badge is perfect since he wants to pursue the vet tech program at Lincoln Memorial University in the Fall. The pieces really seem to be falling together well for him. Today he will see a college campus as a student without mom and dad around. He will experience the vast campus and large classroom settings. This will be a great experience!

Posted in Education | 3 Comments »

Bus Accident

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

Tommy called with nervous laughter in his voice, "We were hit!" For the second time in 6 years, the short bus was in an accident. In those same 6 years, none of our other children, riding regular buses, have had accidents. I could hear the special needs children in the background struggling to hold it together. Let’s be honest, some were absolutely out of control. I could feel Tommy struggling to maintain himself. He wanted to succumb to the madness. He wanted to be sucked down into the land of immaturity but he fought to maintain control despite his morning routine being way out of whack and his surroundings in chaos.

An officer stepped on the bus to check on the children. Tommy laughs and blurts out, "I didn’t do it!" The officer responds, "You’re always guilty!" Tommy calls again. His anxiety is obviously high but he seems to be maintaining himself. "We’re on the news!" WATE put a few seconds of the bus on the news but nothing on the website. It was just a minor scrap on the back corner by an 18 wheeler. For the locals, the truck driver made the mistake of trying to navigate the curve in South Gallaher View Road near Gleason at the same time the bus was in the curve. (Anyone remember the 18 wheeler that got stuck on the tracks trying to get down the drop off before the new crossing was put in?)

All turned out well. I still want Tommy to ride the regular bus next year but since we were unable to arrange a test run this year, he will have to start out on the short bus. I find it pathetic that our special needs buses have children with a variety of issues thrown together in a cramped space for noisy, lengthy rides and the only person to monitor and intervene is an untrained driver which means the driver, who should be 100% focused on the road, is having to divide time between driving and disciplining, comforting, and engaging the children who may have sensitivity issues (say to the noise) and be acting out, or the child might have a violent disposition and be sneaking abuse in on another child, and so forth. I find it inexcusable that every special needs bus does not have a trained aid for the full length of the ride to and from school. I’ll step off my soapbox now.

Update: My initial account of the incident.

Posted in Daily Life, Education, Transportation | 3 Comments »

School Puts Parents In Their Place

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

I must preface this post by saying I love the teachers and their aides that work with Tommy. He would not be where he is today without their sacrifices.

Last week one of Tommy’s teachers was out. Substitutes and unplanned schedule changes can really throw an Aspie for a loop. Tommy was with a familiar teacher but we had a report of unusual behavior from Tommy. It just did not sound right. An email came in to request a time that Tommy could serve detention for his behavior. I did not respond because something did not feel right. When the second request I replied with the following message:

>Hi Guys,
> When can Tom serve his detention for the low he earned last Thursday?

Hello!

I am sorry for the lack of response to your question. I am not sure what to say here because of Tommy’s adamancy that he wasn’t as bad as reported. In times past, I would tell him he was absolutely lying but neither the lying behavior nor the total irreverence that was described in last weeks actions match the behavior that we are observing and that you, yourself, are reporting to us of late.

That coupled with the fact that {teacher} and Tommy were alone and the story cannot be collaborated, that the reports from {teacher}’s daughter and {teacher} herself regarding History do not match the stories of Tommy and {friend}, that the story regarding the {incident long passed between Tommy and teacher} changed from detention to suspension because a headache developed overnight (which is silly), and early in the year I was told from an adult, and disregarded as hearsay, information that {teacher} had a heightened intolerance of Tommy all make me want to argue that Tommy should not have a detention. In this I am not trying to belittle or be disrespectful of {teacher}. I appreciate what she does for Tommy. I appreciate the difficulty of her job. I like {teacher}! I simply do not have any degree of confidence in the accuracy of {teacher}’s reports. I have never said these words before because I have nothing to collaborate them just like we have nothing to collaborate last week’s story (unless I am mistaken).

Tommy has spent a life of being accused of things he did not do because of things that he has done. I have found myself more than once harshly punishing him against his adamancy that he was innocent only later to discover that he was truly innocent. Tommy is good at heart and has matured in ways that I only wish some regular ed children could. Our society frequently beats a man when they are down and a person can only take so much beating before they are relinquished to change into that which their accusers claim in the first place. That said, and with the amount time that has passed since last week, it would be my recommendation that we give Tommy the benefit of the doubt and let this one go. However, you are the teacher and the rules are the rules. If you still wish him to have a detention, let me know and I will let you know a good day.

Thank you and please understand that I mean nothing assaulting, mean or belittling in my words! There is no emotion written into these paragraphs.
Doug

I really debated not sending that letter and re-read it many times before sending it on. I really did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings (which it did) and I had hoped to be as pragmatic as possible. The school responded by not giving Tommy detention. Instead they have him a full day of in-school suspension. Yes Knox County, that’s a mighty fine penis you have!

Posted in Education | 3 Comments »

M-Team of the dazed and confused

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

We have had such vicious fights with Knox County Schools that our names are known in the administrative offices and I am sure nice things are not said. We have had m-teams and ieps go from brief meetings that barely legally qualified to 3 hour sessions with 14 cranky people trying to deprive our child of his rights. We have come close to getting legal on several occasions.

Knox County Schools has grown and changed for the positive. Despite budget and resource challenges, Knox County Schools has created and provided decent Asperger programs. Our child has grown too. And our meetings have become less frequent and needed fewer people.

Yesterday we had an m-team to discuss Tommy’s problems in history only to find that there really is not a problem. I actually felt guilty for having pulled these people away from their jobs for our silly meeting. Are we missing the fight that much? No, Tommy seems to be holding onto some things being falsely accused of disturbing his history class’ mock trial while everyone else has moved on. With Tommy reporting to us that he was still being blamed, coupled with the lost/theft of his ring, the confusion over transition planning, our lack of involvement with the school this year, and other frustrations led us to believe it was time to have a meeting. We were wrong. Tommy is really doing well! He has grown into quite an impressive young adult.

Posted in Daily Life, Education, Support | 1 Comment »

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