[n.b. My dates may be off a little.] After being on a waiting list for 3 years, Tommy entered the STAR program in 2002 and rode every session for six years including six competitive horse shows. I believe strongly that STAR helped Tommy progress in self-control, kindness, social skills, agility, dexterity, critical thinking, and led him to a desire to pursue a career in the veterinary sciences. During his time at STAR he faced losing the ability to participate when he went through a period of rudeness to the volunteers and, although not abusive, unkindness to the animals. Around the same time, one medicine sent his weight skyrocketing above the programs weight limit. STAR did not give up on Tommy. His weight decreased, his attitude and manners changed, and his progress as a rider was notably better. Tommy today is a skilled rider who is leaving the program at Shangri-la Therapeutic Academy of Riding (STAR) to pursue a degree in Veterinary Technology at Lincoln Memorial University. Thank you Lynn Petr! Thanks to your staff of wonderful teachers! Thanks to your volunteers! Thank you to the contributors who made STAR possible! And thank you for this exceptional program!

Note: Technically Tommy has one last ride on Tuesday as a make-up class. I will return to STAR to volunteer when I can.

Never quit no matter how tired.
Trust your gut over the professionals. (They are guessing too.)
Research. Research. Research.
Never lunge over the table at an IEP as if you were going to strangle the idiot on the other side (it results in a much larger, lengthier IEP the next go around).
Trial and error. Lots of error.
If its not working, turn it upside-down; there might be a label.
Remember that no two people are the same and there is no checklist or cookie cutter solution that can be applied.
Take breaks for yourself.

And most importantly (I mean MOST), develop a system of support for BOTH you and the child that includes friends, family, and professionals (doctors, teachers, support groups, advocacy groups,…)

Oh, and Valium or Vicodin whenever you can get your hands on it.
[Source]

I should have probably added "lots of luck" and made a note that although we are blogging about Tommy’s successes right now that he still faces many challenges. There are concerns about whether or not he has the independent living skills needed to make it in college (or even outside of the house). He still has ticks that would be worse without our constant nagging…how will those affect him in the real world? He has his quirks…a little of something has to be left with everything (particularly food); a candy bar has one last bite; a box of chocolates has one last piece; etc. Finishing is not a strong suit. Hygiene is always a concern (but isn’t it with most teens?). The list goes on. Tommy is on a good path and that makes me happy. But there was a time, the world thought he would be institutionalized (or group homed) for most of his life. So, yes, luck played a part.

Tommy is thrilled!

Tommy succeeds by his own efforts. He is also supported by a fantastic network of loving family, friends, teachers, doctors and professionals. Never give up; never surrender!

The Knoxville Asperger Support Group has a new location and date!

We meet the fourth Tuesday of every month Next meeting:
Tuesday, January 22nd 29th from 6 – 7:30 p.m.
Lakeshore’s Peach Cottage
Corner of Northshore & Lyons View

Living with or caring for someone with Asperger’s Syndrome can be challenging. The primary objective of the group will be to provide support for each other through discussion and the sharing of experiences at the monthly meetings. Please join us for an exchange of information, ideas and resources.

Join the Yahoo Group

The upcoming meeting dates for the Knoxville Asperger Support Group are:

• Novemeber 19, 2007
• December 17, 2007

The support group has a Yahoo Group which can be found on http://groups.yahoo.com/ by searching for Knoxville_Aspie_Support. It meets the third Monday of every month unless there is a conflict or holiday at the West Branch of the Knoxville Public Library (map) at 100 Golfclub Rd from 6pm to 7:30pm.

The Knoxville Asperger Support Group is a no charge, open discussion on the subject of Asperger Syndrome. Typically attendees are caregivers of children teens, and adults although folks with Asperger’s often attend to provide input, ask questions, or seek out others with Asperger’s. All are welcome!

Potential Special Topic

Dr. Dan Murphy of the School Board has proposed turning KAEC into a middle school to serve the Sequoyah Hills areas. He is making the rounds to several PTOs (will be at Rocky Hill Elementary on Dec 10 at 6:30pm) to garnish support for his proposal. When asked directly as to what would become of the KAEC students, Dr. Murphy gave an ambiguous answer. In my mind that means they either have no plan or will bus the children to Karns. As a parent of a child with Asperger’s, you stand a chance that your child will spend some time at KAEC. This is a topic that needs to be discussed immediately.

Knox County Schools has grown and changed for the positive. Despite budget and resource challenges, Knox County Schools has created and provided decent Asperger programs. Our child has grown too. And our meetings have become less frequent and needed fewer people.

Yesterday we had an m-team to discuss Tommy’s problems in history only to find that there really is not a problem. I actually felt guilty for having pulled these people away from their jobs for our silly meeting. Are we missing the fight that much? No, Tommy seems to be holding onto some things being falsely accused of disturbing his history class’ mock trial while everyone else has moved on. With Tommy reporting to us that he was still being blamed, coupled with the lost/theft of his ring, the confusion over transition planning, our lack of involvement with the school this year, and other frustrations led us to believe it was time to have a meeting. We were wrong. Tommy is really doing well! He has grown into quite an impressive young adult.

• January 22, 2007 (Please note this is the 4th Monday, not the 3rd, as the library is closed on January 15th)
• February 19, 2007
• March 19, 2007
• April 16, 2007
• May 21, 2007

The support group has a Yahoo Group which can be found on http://groups.yahoo.com/ by searching for Knoxville_Aspie_Support. It meets the third Monday of every month unless there is a conflict or holiday (such as this month) at the West Branch of the Knoxville Public Library (map) at 100 Golfclub Rd from 6pm to 7:30pm.